My Own Reality Show

Amos Carter McGrew

2011-12-06T11:54:00.000-08:00

That's right, #3 has a name.

Amos Carter McGrew.

Sitting here at 36 weeks pregnant, I just can't believe he is going to be here very soon. We got to see him on an ultrasound today. He is very handsome, head down and surrounded by a lot of fluid.

I actually have over twice the amniotic fluid of the average pregnancy. This leads to a very uncomfortable mama, who aches and has trouble breathing. It is not a concern but could make him come a little early, possibly. (Here's hoping!) Lots of contractions and pressure combined with little sleep has me eagerly anticipating his arrival.

We have been preparing our tiny house for his arrival. We have thrown out and stored and condensed, etc... as much as possible. For now, Amos will be sleeping in a bassinet in our room, and we will hopefully sell our house in early spring. We have been preparing Eden and Sawyer as best we can. Sawyer know baby brothers name, but I am not sure he realizes that another actual baby is coming. Eden is clueless as to what is about to happen in her world!

His name was decided on about a month ago. Amos is obviously a Biblical reference, but it is also an important book of the Bible for Brandon and I because a certain verse played a pivotal role in our relationship. Amos also meets our criteria of being a very masculine name. It is not popular, but not weird. It is a name that sounds good for a NFL quarterback or a stockbroker.

Carter was actually an option as a a first name for Sawyer. It is my mother's maiden name. As with the middle names of all of our children it has a special meaning. It is really in honor of my grandparents, who are amazing and loving and pretty much two of the best people I know.

Here is a post about Sawyer and Eden's name, in case you missed it. :)

We are excited and eager to welcome Amos into our family. Praying for a safe (and quick, haha) delivery and a strong, healthy baby boy!

Christmas Traditions

2011-12-06T11:53:00.000-08:00

When I was growing up, we had lots of wonderful Christmas traditions. It was a great time of celebrating family.

Now, with a family of our own, we have had to make decisions regarding what we would like our family Christmas traditions to be. This has sometimes been a difficult process at times.

To decide how we are going to celebrate Christmas, we have had to decide what is important to us about this holiday, what is important for us to convey about this holiday to our children, what do we want to focus on?

The obvious answer is Jesus. We want Christmas to be in every way possible focused on the birth of Christ, our Savior. We want to relish in and celebrated the joy and blessings that His birth has provided for us and the world. We want our children to know that this time of year is about anticipating and celebrating the gift of salvation that was brought into the world with Christ's birth.

This is not the easiest thing to do in America these days. We are surrounded by the idea that Christmas is about presents and stuff and food and just about anything and everything but the Son of God.

One decision we have made is not to "do" Santa Claus. What does this mean? It simply means there will be no man in a red suit bringing gifts down our chimney with loads of gifts for our kiddos. Instead, our kids will receive 3 gifts from us - as Jesus received 3 gifts as well. We are trying to take the focus off gifts.

I realize that we can't take Santa out of Christmas. But we can't lie to them either. I cannot reconcile in my mind telling my kids stories of a magical man who delivers gifts to every kid in the world and has flying reindeer and knows when they are naughty and nice, etc... then having them find out it is all a hoax.

How are they supposed to trust the truth of a Savior born of a virgin, who knows when they are naughty and nice, and was resurrected on the 3rd day?

As I read today, Jesus cannot compete with Santa Claus for a child. The excitement and fervor around these stories and the presents unfortunately will overshadow the birth of our Savior.

I so want my kids to marvel that Jesus came, just like God said he would, and he split history in two, forever transforming the concepts of hope and peace and salvation. And I just feel like when I create a season revolving around wish lists, frenzy, and alternate characters of honor, my kids will never understand any of this.
- Jen Hatmaker, see link to article below

Santa will still be around our home in different ways - we will teach our kids of St. Nicholas who was a devoted follower of Jesus, who did bring gifts to poor children. We can celebrate that! The modern day Santa Claus will be treated in the same manner as we treat Mickey Mouse or Winnie the Pooh. A character who is fun to watch on tv, sing songs about and we can even go see a man dressed up like him at the mall if we want. It is pretend and it is fun that is all.

There is some part of me that remembers my brother and I sneaking out of bed with flashlights to see what Santa brought and the joy and excitement that brought and is sad that my kids won't know that. But that part is dramatically overshadowed by the desire for my kids to know and love Jesus. To want to "behave" not because Santa is making his list, but because Jesus made a great sacrifice for them because He loved them.

This year we began another tradition known as the Jesse Tree. The Jesse Tree is named from Isaiah 11:1: "A shoot will spring forth from the stump of Jesse, and a branch out of his roots." It is a time to learn about and anticipate the birth of Christ in the time before Christmas. Each night we hang an ornament on our Jesse Tree that symbolizes a person/event leading up to the birth of Christ. As we read our scripture and devotion, pray, sing and hang our ornament on our tree we are anticipating the birth of Christ. At this point, Eden only likes the singing, but Sawyer is enjoying hanging the ornament and he says a prayer, etc...

This time of year will also be about spending time as family, much as it was when I was growing up. We like to look at Christmas lights and decorate our tree with ornaments that celebrate our family and spend time with grandparents, etc... The love of our family is such a blessing that it is a great time to celebrate that.

We also want to take this time of year to teach our children to appreciate our blessings by giving to those less fortunate. This year, that simply means helping to provide gifts for a child in foster care. As they get older, I hope we can expand this and have a more "hands-on" way of helping those who are less fortunate.

Here are two great articles/posts about Christmas as a parent and a Christian that you should definitely read:

What We Tell our Kids about Santa, Mark Driscoll
The Christmas Conundrum, Jen Hatmaker

The Duggar Dilemma

2011-11-15T10:44:00.000-08:00

Recently, the Duggar Family, 19 Kids and Counting, announced that they were expecting their 20th child. Wow, what an announcement. Apparently, this caused quite a media uproar - even almost shutting down an NBC site because of the comments on the story.

The majority of the responses were negative. People seem to have problems with the number of children, their beliefs, the health of the mother, the quality of life for the kids, etc...

For some reason this has struck a passionate chord within me and I am kind of annoyed and appalled even at these responses for several reasons.

It is interesting that in a country that is obsessed with personal freedoms and the right to pursue any lifestyle that we choose, that there is such a passionate response to this family.

Why the passionate response?
My take on this is there are two major reasons, jealousy/envy and lack of knowledge/understanding. Most people don't, and don't take time to understand their family, their believes, etc. On the flip side, I think that some people see a family with so many kids that are well adjusted, well behaved, and contributing in valuable ways to this world and feel a sense of jealousy. Parenting is hard, raising really great kids is hard and they seem to be flourishing at it, this is obviously going to lead to envy. Even I envy their family in that way.

When I say I am appalled by negative responses, I am speaking mainly of the negative responses that I see from many Christians in regards to the Duggars. The Duggars are a very conservative Baptist family and I personally do not agree with some of the extremes they go to in regards to issues like dress, dancing, dating, etc. However, they make decisions for their family through seeking the Lord and His Will. I am not sure how a Christian can find fault in that.

The Duggars recognize and state that they know their decisions in regards to the number of children is not for everyone. They don't try to push this ideal. In fact, their entire reason for doing their show, knowing the criticism that they are going to receive, is to display their faith and encourage people to enjoy their families. They are putting themselves out in to the world and setting them selves apart for Christ, this is beautiful and ultimately Biblical!

I have heard other criticisms regarding their kids quality of life, the amount of attention children get, and the idea that the older children suffer because they have to raise the younger kids. At one point, I agreed that these were problems, but the more I have learned about them I know this is wrong.

First of all, in America we have this idea that our children need to be doted on and given our every bit of attention at all times. The result of this? Spoiled children who think that the world revolves around them.

The Duggar children are given chores, responsibilities, etc from a very early age. They are taught that they have a part of a community and that their are needs beyond their own. They grow up as responsible, caring, empathetic and contributing members of society. This should be the goal of all parents.

The Duggar children are powerfully knowledgeable about the Bible, well-educated, well-spoken, and caring. They seek to raise children who improve and contribute the world. Their kids are hard working and entrepreneurial - two of them own their own businesses. The Duggars live completely debt free.

Like I said, this has struck a passionate chord in me. Maybe because I am pregnant with my 3rd baby in 3 years. Because though we are far from 20, we have received judgment and criticism about this decision. American standards tell us that 2 kids, especially a boy and a girl, is acceptable but more is kind of pushing it. I am not sure where this comes from as most of my parent's generation and older were raised this way. Maybe it is about resources or attention.

I hope that I can learn to make decisions for my family with same degree of regard to the Lord as the Duggars do. Their are no plans for 20 kids. But in so many areas I lack that surrender to the Lord's plans and will. And for that reason I admire the Duggars and am thankful for their willingness to share their lives.

A pregnancy comparison, part 2....

2011-10-31T18:01:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant with Eden I did a comparison of photos from Sawyer's pregnancy and Eden's. See that post here.

I have taken a pic at the same time in all 3 pregnancies in the same outfit, so thought I would post a comparison of those photos. I think my hair is the biggest difference! :)

29 weeks - baby #3

28-29 weeks - Eden

28 weeks - Sawyer

Eden's Words...

2011-10-14T11:48:00.000-07:00

It is sometimes unbelievable the differences that can be in siblings. One of the main ways we see this is in communication. Sawyer has always been a little last moment in his speech. Even now, we have to work a lot on conversation skill and answering when people are talking to him.

At 18 months Sawyer was not even calling me "mama" all the time.

Eden, however, is so opposite.

At 16 months, here is a list of all the words I can think of that she says:
Dada
Mama
Go
Bite
Sawyoo (Sawyer)
Bath
Hat
Cheese
Buzz (as in Lightyear)
Ear, eye, and toes (while pointing to them)
Kitty cat and meow
Doggy
Nana
Watch
Chair
Potty
Ni-Ni (Night, Night)
Read (while holding a book)
Go
Hess me (Bless me/you after a sneeze)
No (usually "no, no, no")
OK
Hi
Hello (usually into something she is pretending is a phone)
Slide
'side (means outside)
Shoe
Sock
Ball

I am sure I am missing several. Since she is already a little sassy, I am sure this means both good/bad are to come out her language skills.

Loving what a 3 year old says....

2011-10-14T11:36:00.000-07:00

There are moments everyday when my kids make me laugh or shock me. Lately some of the things that Sawyer have really gotten me, because he can be so funny. I want to make sure and have record of a few of the best:

While reading Sawyer his stories at night I usually try to engage him in a conversation about his day or what is going on in the book. Recently, while reading an Elmo book called "The Fix-it Shop, I was apparently asking too many questions about what was going on in the book, because he looked at me and said, "Mama, just read it!".

In another instance, when we were talking about his day at night after we read I asked him what he did that day, his response: "I played outside. I peed in my pants". Ha! Can you tell we are potty training.

On the night of his 3 year check-up and shots, I was asking about his day and what he did:
Me: What did you do today?
S: Got in the truck, went to the dr.
Me: What did you get at the dr? (expecting him to say a sucker, because he LOVES suckers)
S: I got a boo-boo!
Ha! Guess he remembered the shot more than the sucker!

Last night, a while after putting him to bed, I thought that I heard him whimpering so I went in to check on him:
Me: Are you ok buddy?
S: I fine.
Me: Do you need anything.
S: Go to sleep. Get out now.
Guess he didn't need my comfort!

These are what I can remember right now, but I am sure I will add more!

Sawyer turned 3!

2011-10-08T13:13:00.000-07:00

My baby boy turned 3 several weeks ago. Truly amazing that he is so big, a little man, certainly no longer a baby. He is a super sweet boy and I am so proud and blessed to be his mama.

We had cupcakes and celebrating in the swimming pool a couple weeks before at Mammaw and Grandaddy's. We had a small gathering at Chuck E Cheese, one of his favorite places. On his actual birthday, I took Eden to the sitter and took him to the zoo all by himself. He loved it. He got to go and do exactly what he wanted. After nap, Brandon took him to the theater (aka. "giant tv") to see Cars 2. He also got to eat popcorn, which he loves, and ate half a large bucket.

I think he had a great birthday. I hope that my children always feel really special on their day each year.

2011 Family Trip to the Orchard

2011-10-08T12:17:00.000-07:00

We took our annual trip to the orchard to pick pumpkins and apples. We had a blast riding the tractors, picking and eating apples, and finding the perfect pumpkins. We had lots of help this year picking apples and Eden found a little one that she carried around and munched on the whole time we were there. Brandon found us a great pumpkin, but Sawyer found one too and insisted that we were going to get it. I kept trying to put it down, but he kept finding it and saying, "Here you go, Mama, you carry it."

You can look back here and here for past trips to the orchard, plus some past photos below for comparison.

A look back at how we've grown:

2008: Sawyer at about 4 weeks old

2009: Sawyer at 13 months

2010: Sawyer at 2 years, 1 month & Eden at 4 1/2 months

2011: Sawyer at 3 years & Eden at 16 months

Quarantine....

2011-08-22T10:59:00.000-07:00

In the past 6 weeks, we have:

- filled 12 prescriptions - 3 for me, 4 sawyer, 1 eden, 3 brandon, and 1 for the dog
- 2 trips to urgent care, once sawyer and once brandon
- 4 trips to pediatrician, 3 sawyer and 1 eden
- brandon - doctor visit and emergency trip to opthamologist
- 2 ob visits and an ultrasound (these were good)
- at least 3 calls to triage lines at ob and pediatrician offices

We have cleaned diarrhea off the carpet and couch, vomit off of ourselves and many kitchen surfaces. We have wiped noses until they are raw. We have gone through almost a whole bottle of both children's ibuprofen and tylenol and saline nose spray.

We have had our hearts broken by sick, crying faces whose eyes are asking us to help them feel better. We have listened vigilantly to monitors for coughs and cries to know if our children need us.

Hopefully we are on the upswing, I hate when my babies are sick.

Eyes swollen from pink eye, the only thing making him smile was a bubble bath

Pitiful baby with a cold and double ear infection

Eden talks too...

2011-08-10T11:16:00.000-07:00

Sawyer says lots of funny things, but my sweet Eden is talking a lot now as well. At 14 months, she says many more things than Sawyer did at her age.

Her current vocabulary includes dada, mama (finally), bite (her favorite word), bye bye, read, toy, shoe, and baby. She uses these pretty well, except there are a lot of things she considers a baby.

She is also an excellent shrieker, professional really. She shrieks when she can't reach something, or wants food, or wants something Sawyer has, and, basically, anytime she doesn't get her way. We are working on this, because it is super annoying, to be honest. We take her face in our hands and say no when she shrieks - often times she pouts her lip out and makes a face like we have assaulted her.

She walks, runs and climbs. Yesterday she moved the footstool, multiple times, so that she could use it to climb on to furniture until mama finally put it away.

She is a cuddler when she wakes up or gets tired, especially with Brandon. She is Brandon's girl. She will cuddle much longer with him and goes to him often for him to hold her. She seeks him for comfort and makes him hold her for a while when he gets home from work.

Recently, she has began to enjoy reading books instead of just eating them. She will bring a book to you and say, "re-read, re-read". So sweet. Then, if it is one of her favorites, she will want you to read it multiple times and will shriek if you don't.

She eats like no baby I have ever scene. Two hands as fast as she can eat it, anything and everything. She has even eaten beets, black eyed peas, olives and cottage cheese without even making a face. At 14 month, we finally stopped nursing. We were only nursing once a day, and I was probably more attached to it than she was. She quickly transitioned to a cup of milk and stories without any problems.

She sleeps well with two naps per day from 1 to 2 hours each and about 11 hours a night usually without a peep. This is a HUGE blessing.

She is a joy and a barrel of laughs, whom we love with all of out heart.

Funny...

2011-08-04T08:02:00.001-07:00

From the mouth of an almost 3 year old...

When told (twice) to stop doing something, Sawyer says to me:
"You talking to me?"

The super cute thing he says when someone comes into the room, or sometimes just because:
"Mama (or Dada, etc...) it is so good to see you!"

His favorite joke, by favorite I mean we repeat this scene 1.5 million times a day:
S: "Knock, knock!"
Me: "Who's there?"
S: "Ya!"
Me: "Ya who?"
S: "Ya-hoo!!!" (sometimes he gets this right, others he just keeps saying "Ya!" over and over)

Scene from last night, Sawyer walks into room wearing my flip-flops and a baseball cap:
S: "Bye, baby! Bye, Mama!" as he walk toward back door
Me: "Where are you going?"
S: "Going to car. Where are keys?"

A family vacation...

2011-07-23T13:34:00.000-07:00

Last week we took a family vacation to Cincinnati to stay at the Great Wolf Lodge.

We had a great time, once Brandon and I adjusted our expectations.

As parents, we have learned it is very important to have the proper expectations for any thing you attempt to do with your kids, from eating out to potty training. For example, do we expect a 1 and 2 year old to sit quietly through a two hour meal at a fancy restaurant? Of course not. Most of the time, our kids exceed our expectations and walk away feeling proud and successful.

We started out with ridiculous expectations for our vacation. These included a peaceful and educational trip to the aquarium, both kids to nap and sleep as normal in a strange hotel room with their sibling screaming a few feet from them, etc... The first day was a bomb, due to these silly expectations.

First lesson learned: aquariums do not equal fun to toddlers.
Sawyer likes fish. He thinks they are cool. It was kind of cool to see a really big fish and a small fish, etc... But he is two and he was not interested in a slow paced cruise the the aquarium to observe thousands of different fish in hundreds of different tanks, while mama and dada stopped to tell him about the types and differences of these fish. Eden was equally uninterested in riding quietly in her stroller to absorb these same experiences. When reflecting on it, I realize that Brandon and I were being ridiculous. But at the time we were frustrated and confused and annoyed and yelling.

Second lesson learned: sleep arrangements must be changed when sleeping a hotel room.
At home, we do our routine of stories, etc... then lay the kids in their beds and leave the room. They may fuss for seconds and then they sleep. We expected to do the same thing, we were all just going to be in one room while we did this... Ha! We arrived at the hotel with a grumpy Eden who had skipped morning nap so we could take her to the boring aquarium and Sawyer who was also past his nap. Then we attempted to put them to sleep. For about an hour there was screaming and crying and tantrums as we tried to force them and even discipline them in to napping. "Why wouldn't they sleep," we asked ourselves. Well it could have been that they were overtired, confused and scared about being in a strange place where their sibling was also screaming their head off a few feet away!

After much struggle, I learned a hard lesson that day that left me with plenty of mommy guilt. In this situation, where they were scared and confused, my children needed to be loved, not forced into sleeping. I laid down with my little man and held him while he went quickly and quietly to sleep, while Brandon, got to rock sweet Eden to sleep.

The rest did us all some good and we were able to finish the rest of our vacation with more reasonable expectations and had a great time.

My babies love the water, so the majority of our time was spent enjoying the water park. This place is amazing and includes 10+ slides, most of which they let Sawyer ride with one of us, a baby splash pool with slides, a wave pool, a lazy river, and pools both indoors and out. The favorite for both kids was the massive "fort" in the middle where water shoots in all directions. Both are also fearless in the water, which is great and terrifying. Even little Eden was jumping in from the side of the pool in to Brandon's arms. And Sawyer was perfecting his doggy paddling. Little swimmers like their daddy.

We also enjoyed a trip to King's Island, where we spend all our time in the kids' area. Preggos can't ride roller coasters and Brandon didn't want to ride alone. Sawyer, however, will ride anything! He pointed to the big coasters and said. "ride that!" Eden got to ride some things with us and she was all smiles. Sawyer and Brandon stayed while Eden and I took afternoon naps at the hotel.

Here are some photos from the trip:

Movie time on Daddy's laptop

King's Island

Loving this ride at King's Island

Eden got to ride a few rides

He loved the car rides the most

My water babies

Eden loved the spouts

Sawyer's favorite of the small slides

One of Sawyer's favorite things was the "story time" they had in the lobby each night. The characters would come to life and sign and tell a story. He was mesmerized. We got him to leave the pool each night by telling him we had to go get ready for story time.

The crazy differences in pregnancy....

2011-07-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

I would be glad to back up the statement that every pregnancy is different. Obviously I have struggled with fatigue in all my pregnancies, increasingly more so when you have small children running around. Sawyer's pregnancy was great, no real nausea, felt good, slept good until the end, etc. I even told Brandon I loved being pregnant, blah, blah....

With Eden I was very nauseous. It was horrible. In fact, every time I get a bit nauseous now I will actually tear up, remembering that time and how debilitating being nauseous all the time can be, even keeping me awake most of the night.

I had some nausea with this pregnancy. (FYI- details to follow may be a little much for some...) In the beginning I had kind of a gross taste in my mouth and a lot extra saliva which is pretty normal. The craziness started at about 10 weeks. I started getting sick after dinner every night. The strange thing is I have no nausea. I describe it as everything in my throat getting kind of thick, then I start gagging and get sick. I haven't kept dinner down in almost 4 weeks. Some days it happens at lunch or an afternoon snack and once at breakfast. I am never nauseous, though my stomach and throat will burn for a while. On bad days, I often end up very tired or with a headache, which I attribute to low calorie intake. It makes no difference what I eat or how much of it. I have lost a few pounds. It can also be kind of embarrassing because I actually get very little warning before I get sick, so it is inhibiting our social lives. I have thrown up in multiple parking lots and a park around Louisville. Really not fond of this symptom.

Unfortunately, I have talked with one other person who had this same problem, it lasted her entire pregnancy. Boo. She said her doctor said it only lasts to 16 weeks with some, so say a prayer for that!

We did get to see our little one on ultrasound at 12 weeks. After some trouble finding the heartbeat, the ultrasound showed us that he (going with that for now) is just very busy. Our response to this was that he will fit in just find around our house!

Baby #3, a blessing...

2011-07-05T06:39:00.000-07:00

The McGrews have procreated again. :) As I type this I am 14 weeks pregnant with our 3rd sweet baby with an estimated arrival of Jan 1, 2012.

I will be honest in saying that we were a little surprised by the realization that there was a baby on the way. We had decided that a third child was in store for us, but it just happened much sooner than we anticipated. We obviously know how it happens, clearly. Anyway, once the shock wore off and the realization that we are going to have to find a place to put this kid both in a home and a vehicle, we are excited.

When Brandon and I found out, we knew that there would probably be some interesting responses regarding us having another baby so close to the first two. (Sawyer will be 3 and Eden will be 19 months when baby is born.) Responses we expected were. "You know how that happens, right?"; "Didn't you just have a baby?"; etc...

What surprised me was there was not as many "congratulations". Responses were more shocked than excited. I find this interesting and confusing. I felt like we were exceeding our quota. The world seems to think that once you have two children, especially if they are a boy and a girl, then you should be done. Be sure this is a wordly standard, not a heavenly one. Some people reacted like we were the Duggers or something and just said baby #20 was on the way. The Duggers may have figured things out better than most. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying we are in for 20 children, for both Brandon and I 3 kids feels like a pretty big family. But we want the Lord to dictate the size of our family, not the world.

Brandon and I both felt our family was not complete. I did not want to look back in 15 years and still feel like someone was missing. I want big family dinners and lots of laughter and hugs and even a houseful of moody, rowdy, hungry teenagers.

I can only assume that this may be the last baby we have, my body says it is the last one it will carry, but only the Lord knows what the future has for our family. We have been seeking to follow His lead in the area and will continue to do so.

The response that I have found that I like the least is, "You are going to have your hands full." Don't get me wrong this is true, having 3 kids 3 and under is busy! I know we will be tired and stretched and at times on the brink of losing our minds, and there are days now when I think, "what have we done?". But "my hands are going to be full" of sweet, loving, beautiful babies! This is amazing!

The best thing I have heard came from a family that I admire greatly, who have 5 beautiful children, that often gets called crazy themselves - "You will feel more blessed than burdened." Beautiful. Thank you Jesus for your blessings!

"Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Psalm 127: 3-5

For my babies...

2011-06-22T07:52:00.000-07:00

Please always remember:

You will lose your baby teeth.
At times, you'll lose your faith in me.
You will lose a lot of things,
But you cannot lose my love.

You may lose your appetite,
Your guiding sense of wrong and right.
You may lose your will to fight,
But you cannot lose my love.

You will lose your confidence.
In times of trial, your common sense.
You may lose your innocence,
But you cannot lose my love.

Many things can be misplaced;
Your very memories be erased.
No matter what the time or space,
You cannot lose my love.
You cannot lose,
You cannot lose,
You cannot lose my love.

Song by Sara Groves

The things kids say...

2011-04-29T05:54:00.001-07:00

Some sweet things happening in the McGrew house recently.

First, Sawyer's imagination is soaring and he says funny and imaginative things. Yesterday, he had on a baseball hat and he kept taking it off, turning it upside down and saying there was a rabbit in his hat. Cute! We are not sure where he saw or read that but it was funny.

This morning he got out some play spoons, cups, etc and made me a cup of pretend coffee. He likes to pretend to cook, then he will say it is too hot and blow on it.

He has also been very interactive with Eden. She loves for you to chase her, and Sawyer will chase her wil yelling "gonna get you" and they both squeal.

Eden loves to play peek-a-boo with a blanket or whatever she has handy. Sawyer likes this too. When he yells peek-a-boo she squeals with excitement. Any attention from her brother usually results in squeals of excitement.

These kids are adorable!

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playtime...

2011-04-26T07:22:00.001-07:00

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10 years, actually 11...

2011-04-11T07:32:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went to my 10 year (actually 11, but that is a long story) high school reunion. Like so many other things, it seems that it was only yesterday but also a lifetime ago that I was in high school.

This event has caused me to do a lot of reflection about who I was then and who I am now. I am such a different person in many ways that it is almost like existing as two different people. I think this is normal. College, marriage, parenthood have all taken place in this third of my life (holy cow, I have lived 1/3 of my life since HS).

I am not sure what I expected going into this event. Joyful reunions and long talks about life in the past 10 years? A rowdy party? Awkward conversation? It was more of the last than anything.

I think most of the problem is that you cannot forget what people were like in HS. Other than facebook, sadly, I do not keep up with anyone from my graduating class. Therefore expectations of who they were and how they treated other people, and what I thought they would do/be exist, and spending 2 hours exchanging awkward conversation with someone you haven't seen in 11 years is going to do little to change that.

Don't get me wrong, there were people with whom I enjoyed talking. There were only about 35 out of 180 classmates there and to be honest I only talked to about 15 of them. There were lots of people who I wish had been there! We left after about an hour and a half which included taking a picture and drinking a glass of tea which we paid $25 a piece for (that was the cost to attend and we did not eat).

Part of me felt guilty for leaving after such a short time and not making an effort to speak to everyone I could. But there was little to say. I am not one for small talk.

Lots of the people who were there still live in the area, they talk and hang out regularly. They have been apart of each others' lives for 11 years and know who each other has become.

I didn't see who they had become. In the short time I was there my clouded eyes saw the immature people who I knew 11 years ago and I couldn't get past my judgments of them. I judged their actions and their clothes and their spouses and what they put in their mouths (way too much smoking!). I saw the girl who was always scowling in HS with a scowl on her face. Some were still loud. Some were still brash. Some were still snobs. Some who I expected to have a joyful reunion with, brushed me off, while others who I expected little from I enjoyed a great conversation with. But it was clouded with my judgment.

But there was no way to change these ideas in 105 minutes. There was no way for them to show me who they are and for me to show them who I have become.

This morning the song "Moving On" by Rascal Flatts came on the radio and this struck me...

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change

Maybe that is the thing with 10 year HS reunions. We won't allow each other to change. There is not time to see it, the faces are different physically but exactly the same...

I was worried that when I left people would think I was a snob... and I found irony in that. That was my biggest problem in HS. I spent the majority of my time consumed, obsessed even, with what people thought of me. And that is how I have changed. While I don't wish for anyone to think ill of me, I will not live my life worried about their perceptions of me, especially when they are likely as equally clouded as mine.

I wish blessings on those who I spent my childhood with because we share a lot of great memories that still make me smile. I am glad I went to my reunion. Maybe I will see you again in 10 to 11 years. :)

The dangers of love...

2011-04-02T19:02:00.000-07:00

Sawyer is a great big brother most of the time. He has his moments, usually when Eden is bothering his toys or food, when he lets her know she has over stepped a boundary. He usually does this by shoving her. We are working on that. He has gotten better and now will usually tell us, "Check on Baby!". This means you have about 5 seconds to get her before I take matters into my own hands.

He has many sweet moments as well. He will talk back to her when she is squawking by squawking back at her. She thinks it is hilarious. She thinks everything he does is hilarious and lights up whenever he pays any attention to her.

When she wakes from a nap and he hears her on the monitor - he will tell me to "check on Baby".

This week our furnace died. As a result, the kids had to go to the sitter all day on Monday and Tuesday and were supposed to on Wednesday as well when Sawyer woke up with a fever, so I decided to just take Eden so she would be able to nap, etc. Sawyer was very upset when we left her at Ms. Cheryl's. All the way home he kept saying, "Find Baby!" and "Check on Baby." He had tears in his eyes. It was really sweet. He asked about her several times during the day and Ms. Cheryl said Eden kept looking around and was extra clingy that morning as well.

Sawyer has also decided to start sharing with Eden, this is where it gets a little dangerous. Since he was sick this week, we were trying to get him to eat by getting him one of his favorites, a cheese quesadilla. He decided he would share with Eden and shoved a big piece in her mouth, "Baby bite!" She proceeded to choke and Brandon had to fish it out of her throat.

He also tries to shove puffs in her mouth and tries to get her to drink from her sippy cup by practically smashing it in her face. It is all very sweet, because he only has very good intentions. He sees us do these things and he is trying to help and take care of her as well. It is hard to explain how to be easy or that Eden can only have small bites of certain foods.

Tonight his sharing was especially cute. We will often give Eden a drink of water by pulling the straw out of our drink and letting her suck it out. Sawyer had a cup of lemonade tonight and he kept pulling the straw out and putting it in Eden's mouth, as they were sitting next to each other in the double stroller. He didn't know how to keep the liquid in the straw, so she wasn't getting anything. She was delighted by the attention. He did this probably 20 times and it was very effective at keeping them both entertained.

It is just so sweet to see them interact in this way. I love to see him care for her. He has a sweet heart. I love to see the joy it brings to her face to have him pay attention to her.

I just have to watch carefully to make sure he doesn't jab the straw down her throat or in an eye!

Fun videos...

2011-04-02T18:55:00.000-07:00

Sawyer and Eden playing outside. Sawyer was pushing Eden in the "Cozy Coupe", she needed a seat belt. The video does not show him ramming the car into the fence.

The little ones dancing to the "Hot Dog Song" at the end of Mickey Mouse Club House.
Eden loves to dance.

One of those days...

2011-03-16T07:48:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was "one of those days". A day of frustration and weariness magnified by Brandon being out of town.

My sweet Eden fussed all night, inconsolable, even by her usually coma inducing milk source. I got her up to discover that she was running a fever, this was especially upsetting considering she ran a fever most of the week last week. I called the doctor and the appointment available was at 8:40 - less than an hour away.

So after getting Sawyer up and everything together as quickly as possible, we left the house. I realized as I pulled out of the driveway that I hadn't fed my poor son, so we had to stop at McDonalds for breakfast. As I walked into the doctor's office for the third time in as many weeks and was greeted by name, I really wished that I was carrying a sign that read, "We are not as white trash as we look." because at this point Eden was still in her pajamas with only one sock on, I had a major blond-fro going on and am wearing stained, wrinkled clothes from the day before, and Sawyer is carrying his oh-so nutritious Mc-D's breakfast.

Eden had an ear infection caused by last week's virus. Sawyer makes sure to point out his "ashbrown" (aka. hashbrown) to the pediatrician. Thanks Son! :) This is, of course, the pediatrician who once called me fat. Well, sort of. Quick story: When Sawyer was about a year old I asked this particular doctor if I should be concerned about Sawyer's weight, because he was pretty thin. She said no, that he was probably just built small. In what I am assuming was an attempt to determine whether this was genetic, she looked me up and down, then clearly getting her answer that he didn't take after me said, "Is his father thin?".

The day continued with a pharmacy that ticked me off, a lunch that resulted in multiple disciplinary actions for a stubborn 2 year old, and other small frustrations.

It the grand scheme of things it wasn't really that bad of a day, but sometimes that is hard to see. Especially when you are alone, aside from small children. Even if Brandon couldn't have helped, it is nice to have them there to talk to and commiserate with. So hurry home!

Today is a new day and a new perspective. I am thankful for sweet, healthy babies and a loving husband who is out of town because of his new job, which he took to help provide for his family.

Today I have a friend whose tiny baby is having surgery to remove part of his colon, a friend from long ago whose two young sons are having unexplainable seizures, friends struggling with the end of their marriages, friends struggling with infertility, and so many more who need our prayers.

While I know the Lord does care about the burdens I carry, today I am trying to let Him deal with those and be myself more concerned with the burdens of those around me.

Philippians 2:
¹ Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

A sweet memory...

2011-03-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

Today I am remembering a sweet friend. Brooke Hall's birthday passed recently. We celebrated her birthday together a couple times and I have some very fond memories as a result.

The BSU had a date auction. First, it was the guys and I happened to have the privilege of going on the "quad date", which is a different story for a different time, though it is a funny one. Later in the year the girls had a chance to place their dates up for auction and several friends and I decided to do our version on the "quad date". Who bought us? Brooke Hall.

Our "date" also happened to coincide with Brooke's birthday. We surprised her with a large group of girls gathered for dinner for her birthday at Mariah's, a yummy restaurant in Bowling Green. Our friend Callie brought Brooke a fish for a present. Unfortunately for Callie, Brooke was not interested in a fish so the fish got the luck of coming back to my dorm, it did not survive until the end of the semester.

After our rowdy meal, we were trying to decide what to do next - and Brooke had an idea. She had grown up in the area and she decided that it would be fun to show us a place that supposedly had something to do with the "Jason" movies. I am a little foggy on the details, but I think this is where we went. What I do remember is that it took forever to get there, down some very curvy roads. There were several cars of people and I know some people were feeling pretty nauseous by the time we got there. We didn't even stop really, just drove there and then turned around and came back.

When we got back to BG, everyone went there separate ways. Brooke, Amy, and I went to Blockbuster and bought some discounted vhs (dvds were a new thing, lol). Before returning back to my dorm room to watch movies, we stopped at a tattoo shop. Brooke and I were going to get a tattoo. The shop was closed and I was relieved, but the people inside opened the door and told us to come on in! We looked through the books and found one that we liked. It looked like this. Brooke and I both were going to get it, but I chickened out.

I still think about going back to get that tattoo...

These memories are precious to me, and when I think about them I smile and miss her so much.

Luckily I have the blessing of looking at my Eden Brooke every day and being reminded of Brooke Hall. Eden's rosy cheeks are God's way of reminding me of her. Eden was also born almost exactly 6 years after Brooke passed away (Eden born on May 28, 2010, Brooke passed on May 27, 2004).

I am thankful for God's little reminders of her. As I heard this song, in wake of her birthday, I was comforted by the peace she now has:

Absent from Flesh, Jamie Barnes/Issac Watts:

Absent from flesh, O blissful thought What joy this moment brings Freed from the blame my sin has brought, From pain and death and its sting. Absent from flesh, O Glorious day! In one triumphant stroke My reckoning paid, my charges dropped and the bonds 'round my hands are broke. I go where God and glory shine, To one eternal day This failing body I now resign, For the angels point my way. For the angels point my way. Absent from flesh! then rise, my soul, Where feet nor wings could climb, Beyond the sky, where planets roll, And beyond all keep of time.

I look forward to seeing her again one day. For now, I will treasure the sweet memories of her.

Who do they look like?

2011-02-14T08:24:00.000-08:00

We get lots of comments about who our kids look like - and it varies quite wildly - so here is a photo comparison:

Sawyer and Eden, ages 2 and 8 months:

Crystal, 8 to 10 months?:
Because lots of people say Sawyer looks like Jeremy (my brother),
here is Jeremy and I, ages 2 and 4:

Brandon as baby:

Brandon, age 3:

What do you think now?

My babies love bath time!

2011-02-13T16:00:00.002-08:00

Our kids love to take baths.

Bath time is Brandon's. He has given 97% of the baths that our children have taken. So much so that I sometimes have a hard time giving baths when I need to, especially when they are very little. Recently he has bathed them together some when we are in a hurry for bed, but for the most part he likes to have the playtime with each one.

Both kids have always enjoyed taking a bath, even as newborns. It was soothing in the beginning and as they get older, lots of fun. They love to splash and play with their toys and read the bath book, Mimi's Toes. Neither one minds having the water dumped over their heads.

Eden stands by the tub and watches Sawyer take a bath and tries to hike her leg over to get in. Sawyer never argues when we say it is time for bath, even if he is watching one of his favorites like the Wiggles.

They are just sweet water babies.

When Sawyer was about Eden's age I took a video of him crawling to the bath as quick as he could when he heard the water running and tonight I got a video of Eden doing the same thing!

Eden headed for bath, February, 2011:

Sawyer headed for bath, July 2009:

Eden walks...

2011-02-13T16:00:00.001-08:00

My eight month old wild woman has started walking, sort of. She is walking behind our ride on Mickey Mouse airplane. I guess it won't be long now.

Below is a video of one of her first trips across the room. Click here to see Sawyer walking behind this same plane at about 10 months old.

Sawyer works a puzzle...

2011-02-13T16:00:00.000-08:00

Got this video of Sawyer working his puzzles...

My littlest helper

2011-01-31T12:27:00.001-08:00

Sawyer has always loved to help us. Recently he has become he has developed an even bigger desire to "helpy", sometimes to the point of getting upset when he can't help.

Yesterday I was vacuuming the house while he are lunch. He usually "helps" by pushing his plastic golf cart around next to me and ramming it into wall and furniture as he pretends to vacuum. He has no idea what he is doing or what the vacuum is doing but he loves it. He got finished with his lunch as I was finishing the vacuuming and winding the cord to put it away. He went and got his golf cart and started pushing it around yelling "helpy, helpy". I pretended to push the vacuum around, but it was not good enough. I had to plug it back in and re-vacuum the living room so he could help.

He then had to help Brandon mop the kitchen by squeezing the trigger to spray the floor as Brandon moved the mop around.

Yesterday was a big day for helping. When Brandon went to get him from the nursery at church they told him he as there big helper. Apparently, he had helped them by putting out the plates for all the kids to have snack and then passing out the snack to his friends. So sweet!

He also likes to help with laundry by putting the wet clothes in to the dryer and closing (read: slamming) the door. He gets his own cloth when I dust and likes for me (or him) to spray some so he can wipe.

He loves to help Brandon anytime he is working on something. Brandon put chains on our doors recently and Sawyer went and got his toy drill as soon as he saw Brandon with his. Brandon would lift him up and let him drill a little as he worked. On Saturday, there was a man here fixing our satellite dish. At one point Sawyer was wanting to watch Mickey Mouse on tv and I told him he couldn't because it was broken and the man was trying to fix it. When he heard that he ran to his tools and pulled out 2 "drivers" to try and help.

When it is warm, he likes to help outside. One of his favorite things at Ms.Cheryl's (babysitter) is to help her pick up the walnuts that had fallen from the tree in her yard.

It is so sweet to see his little heart want to serve and please us. I pray that he continues to grow in this way and begins to want to serve and please the Lord even more than his parents.

Growing too quickly..

2011-01-28T12:45:00.000-08:00

I was looking back through my blog and noticed that I did a much better job of detailing Sawyer's escapades, family outings, etc when Sawyer was Eden's age. I hope to do a better job and make this blog something that my children can enjoy when they are older. So here are some updates:

Sawyer, 2 years and 4 months:
Nicknames: Sawyer Bug, Baby Bear, Little Britches

Life with Sawyer:
Sweet, wild and all boy is the best way to describe you. No one had to teach you about mud and trucks and jumping in puddles and laughing at yourself when you belch. Over the past few months you have continued to explode with the things that you say. You now speak in phrases and sentences. Favorite things to say include, "I scuck (stuck)", "Hi Baby!", and "I did it!".

Your personality is starting to come out in the things that you say. Your caring heart for your sister when you ask to go "check on baby" when she is crying. When mama was singing Itsy Bitsy Spider to Eden and you said, "Mama, MAMA! Stop." while putting your hand softly on my shoulder.

We are working on learning your colors and shapes. So far when asked what color something is you say, "red, blue, yellow, purple". You love to count and can count to thirteen. You also love to read. We read at various times of the day, especially when baby is napping. Current favorites include: The Tawny, Scrawny Lion, The Poky Little Puppy, Curious George, Gerald McBoing Boing, If You Give a Cat a Cupcake, and If you Give a Pig a Pancake.

You continue to love your gymnastics class and you can flip, balance and swing. You run and jump and have fun most of the time. You play hard. Your favorite toys are your Mickey ride on plane, ball popper, trucks, toy laptop, and your cd player.

You love music. Especially the Wiggles cd. We listen to it every day. You request it by saying "potato" because Hot Potato is the first song on the cd. Lately you only want to listen to one song on the cd, "Play your Guitar with Murray" because it combines all your favorites music, the Wiggles and guitars. You dance around with your guitar (toy golf club) when listening to the song.

You are doing so many new things that big boys do and they make me both proud and sad, because you are growing so fast. You sit at the table, instead of in a high chair and you use a big (topless) cup while eating meals. We have had a few spills, but it is so cute to see how proud you are.

You have started to assert your independence in regards to food by refusing foods, even ones you like, when your make up you mind. This does create some frustration for mama and dada and sometimes creates times for discipline as well. Favorite foods include cheese, eggs, pancakes, any kind of meat, canned mixed vegetables, most things italian, all fruits, and mac & cheese.

Recently you have decided for mama and dada that it is time to potty train. Mama and dada weren't really planning or expecting this, but you are ready. You asked to potty one night before bath and since then you go regularly. You don't ask to go yet, but you go whenever you are prompted. Pretty soon we will attempt underpants! Mama is excited about having one kid out of diapers!

You are a really sweet, funny kid. You melt my heart when you say to me, "Mama, hold you." or when you remind us to say our prayers at meals by putting your little hands together. You are full of life and love.

Eden Brooke McGrew, 8 Months
Nicknames: Wild Woman, Baby, Sister, Mohawk

Life with Eden:
Well there is certainly a reason that we call you Wild Woman! You are all over the place, all the time. I thought maybe with baby #2 I would get a cuddler, who like to be held and rocked and loved on. But you are much too busy for that.

You were rolling both ways before 3 months, crawling on all 4's before 6 months, and pulling up on the furniture before 7 months. You can climb the step from the living room to kitchen like a pro and keep us busy chasing you down. Multiple times a day we have to grab you before you dump the dog's water bowl on the floor and yourself (sometimes we don't get there in time).

You would much rather be down on the floor exploring than held or confined to an exersaucer or your crib. You really love to be where your brother is and you light up anytime he talks to you or interacts with you.

You love to play, especially with toys that Sawyer is holding. Favorite toys include your giraffe teething toy, musical maracas, any kind of cup or bowl, and pretty much anything that you are not supposed to have.

You are still nursing and while you love your milk, you are enjoying new flavors of "solid" food. We make your baby food, as we did with your brother. So far some of the things that you have enjoyed are cereals, butternut squash, sweet potatoes, white potatoes, apples, pears, green beans, cauliflower, green peas, and carrots. We are being careful because we suspect you have at least one food allergy to bananas. You have had some eczema and other reactions with them. You also love sippy cups and enjoy drinking water out of them. You also enjoy trying to drink whatever brother is having if you can get your hands on his cup.

Teething (you have 2 on the bottom) and 2 round of the stomach virus in the last month have disturbed your sleep. Things are getting better and on a good night you sleep from 8:30 to 7 with mama usually feeding you once. You are getting better at self-soothing if you wake and going back to sleep. This makes mama happy! You generally nap twice a day now, sometimes with a short catnap in the evening.

You have beautiful rosy cheeks that I often think the Lord gave you to remind mama of Brooke Hall, whom you are named after.

Your personality is sweet and lively. You are very curious and inquisitive. always looking around and easily distracted by noises and things going on around you. You seem to enjoy music and mama singing to you. You are very happy and friendly. We often get comments on how happy you seem and how often you smile at people. You are a joy.

Pics from recently to enjoy:

Sweet babies sitting together!

Sawyer in his cowboy hat

Singing the goodbye song at gymnastics

Riding his new tricycle on Christmas morning

First time in the shopping cart

Her first teething biscuit

Stealing a drink from brother's sippy cup

Eating at the table and drinking from big cup, so proud!

Sawyer climbed in the bed with Eden when we were not watching

A prayer...

2011-01-04T10:00:00.000-08:00

Obviously being a mother has changed me, so much so that sometimes I don't remember anything about who I was before having my kids. One of my favorite bloggers wrote this post. And this particularly struck me:

"I had to learn - am still learning - to die to myself, to die to my desires, my spontaneity, my freedom, my illusion that I had any control over anything, let alone another little person."

This rings so true with me and just so you know I am failing miserably. Each day I have moments (or sometimes hours) where my selfishness takes over and I want peace or freedom or sleep or to go to the bathroom without a companion...

Don't get me wrong I am madly in love with my children. They are my world and I would give my entire life for them at any moment without an instant of hesitation.

In much the same way that the beginning of my marriage did, becoming a mother has made me keenly aware of what a horrible, disgusting sinner I am.

I am selfish. I mean really selfish. This strikes me especially hard when I am awoken in the middle of the night by a screaming, teething seven month old less than two hours after I finally got her back to sleep, because my first thoughts are, "Dammit, why won't you stay asleep?!? Mama is tired!" (Excuse the language, just being real here...)

Am I thinking about the fact that my helpless baby girl is being tortured by sharp objects slowly pushing their way through her tender gums and that she has no idea what is happening to her? Nope, I am tired.

And I do go in and comfort, rock, nurse, medicate, etc this sweet baby, but with anger and frustration and sin in my heart. Exhaustion amplifies my sin, it brings out the worst in me. I snap at those I love and I am impatient and frustrated and angry.

Today I am thinking about how tired Jesus must have been as he traveled and preached and taught and rebuked and healed, etc... My exhaustion is pale in comparison. But his heart remained sinless and holy and focused on God.

Jesus,
Please give me your heart and your eyes. Humble me that I would put You and Your kingdom before my own desires, even for sleep. Forgive me that I fail in this every second. Help me to die to my selfishness that I may become more like you. Thank you for these beautiful, amazing children that you have entrusted to me. Give me the strength and wisdom to guide them and love them in your ways. Thank you for the lessons they teach me every day about love, grace, trust and patience. Thank you that you love me even more than I love them and more than I could ever understand.
Amen.

Name that baby...

2010-12-22T12:09:00.001-08:00

I think that Sawyer and Eden look so much alike at the same ages. What do you think? Here are some photos, do you know which baby is which??

New plan for Christmas...

2010-12-21T08:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday 3 of the 4 members of my household were pretty grumpy. Now, two of these smaller grouches were recovering from a weekend of the stomach flu's effects on their tiny little bodies.

The other grump? Yep, you guessed it, it is me.

Why so grumpy? Christmas.

Christmas? Yeah, it is getting on my nerves.

This year Christmas has made me tired, stressed, annoyed, frustrated and grumpy.

This morning I was listening to Christmas music on Pandora, trying to force the spirit to come, and this song came on:

Where are you Christmas? Why can't I find you?
Why have you gone away?
Where is the laughter you used to bring me?
Why can't I hear music play?

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too?

Where are you Christmas? Do you remember
The one you used to know?
I'm not the same one, see what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go?

This song was more applicable than any of the other Christmas music I have heard this year. I just haven't been feeling the "Christmas Spirit". Instead I feel rushed - rushed to send Christmas cards, make jam for Brandon to take to work, buy presents, wrap presents, take Santa photo, travel, decorate, etc... I somehow didn't even enjoy, or really participate in, decorating the Christmas tree this year, something I typically enjoy.

I have spent some time this morning trying to figure out what the heck my problem is. While I haven't quite managed to pinpoint it, I think it is the same thing that tends to bog me down in time other than the holiday season. Too much. Planning too much, doing too much, expecting too much, running too much, and focusing too little on the reason for it all.

So, as of this moment, I am going to try to take it down a notch (or twenty). What I have enjoyed so far this Christmas season has been simple. On our trip to Minneapolis, the part I enjoyed most was when the snow forced us all to be trapped in the hotel afternoon on Saturday afternoon. We talked and laughed and played with babies. This past Sunday I enjoyed the fellowship of my father's side of the family, where we sat and laughed and talked and played with babies.

Yesterday, on a hurried trip to the mall to buy one last present, in which I became angry and frustrated at lines, parking, etc..., we walked past an old man on a bench who stopped us and gave each of our kids a $1 bill. Brandon and I thanked him and walked away saying, "Weird". But clearly this old man has figured it out, because he sure did have a big smile on his face - finding joy in his little act of strange kindness. (Don't think this is your invitation to line up for you $1 bills from me.)

Sawyer teaches me more lessons than he will ever know. And today, I am thinking about his ability to find JOY in the simplest things. On our recent trip to MN, we spent a lot of time at the Mall of America. They have an amusement park in the middle with lots of rides our little man could ride. He loved it! LOVED IT! So much so, that when we were taking him from ride to ride, he wasn't walking or running, but skipping with a huge grin on his face. He wasn't stressed about the foot and half of snow, -30 degree temps, or flight delays - he was FULL of Joy because he was on his way to the carousel.

The weird old man and my sweet little two year old can find joy in these simple things, so I will learn from them.

So new plans mean that my house may not be clean for family on Christmas Day, there might not be homemade bread for Christmas Eve dinner, gifts will be without tags and maybe even in bags, no fancy cookies, etc...

Instead I plan to read the Christmas story, thank God for His blessings, take a drive to look at Christmas lights, watch a Christmas movie, decorate ready-made cookies with my son, and enjoy my family. Sit. Laugh. Talk. Play with Babies. REMEMBER AND THANK JESUS! Repeat.

Shutterfly makes my Christmas Happy!

2010-12-14T11:34:00.000-08:00

The great people of Shutterfly have made my Christmas happier by offering me a chance for 50 free holiday cards - and all I have to do is tell you about their awesome products! In addition to great products, they are pretty generous! They have great deals on photos, photo cards, and other gifts. May be a great place to find some last minute Christmas presents.

You can use Shutterfly to celebrate all kinds of occasions with Christmas cards, Birthday cards or even desk calendars. This year I will be using their Christmas photo cards for our family Christmas card. Their designs are fresh and creative, and not to mention the quality is fantastic.

Some of my favorites designs include:

Mod Lime Story Christmas Card

Starlight Flurries

Holiday Love Sketch

I will leave you in suspense as to which card I am choosing for our family this year, but I had to choose one with lots of room for pictures of my sweet babies. This year has been really busy for us and I had lots of pictures to share! Make sure to check your mailbox for our family card, but while you are waiting be sure to check out Shutterfly!

Everyone is thankful for me...

2010-12-08T12:02:00.000-08:00

The time between last Thanksgiving and this one was bumpy for my little family. Don't get me wrong, we haven't had to move mountains or anything, just bumps.

The biggest bump, might classify this one as a mountain, was when my sweet Eden got sick at just 7 days old. I have been reflecting on this time a lot recently, partly because of a t-shirt that I got Eden for Thanksgiving that said, "Everyone is thankful for me". I was struck by how unbelievably thankful I am for my precious daughter (and son).

Eden's meningitis has left me with scars and fears, I recently had a meltdown one night because Eden was running a small fever, but with a new perspective on life. Before Eden was born I was terrified of taking care of two kids under two by myself. But even in the hospital with Eden I was begging for the opportunity to take on that challenge.

I am so blessed to have two beautiful, healthy and sweet children and I am reminded by that this time of year by my sweet Eden's Thanksgiving t-shirt. We are so thankful for you Eden Brooke!

Hey mamas - great deals on diapers and wipes...

2010-11-08T13:07:00.000-08:00

So we use cloth diapers most of the time, but we always need disposables and I am always in search of a good deal. Most of the time this means searching blogs, collecting coupons, visiting drug stores with multiple transactions, etc...

But today I got a great deal at my computer on amazon.com.

How? First you need to sign up for amazon mom's program here. This program gets you 15% off baby care items and 3 months of amazon prime membership for free (i.e. free shipping) and for every $25 you spend they extend that membership by one month.

Here are the deals I got:

Pampers Thickcare baby wipes - 504 Count - $8.79 shipped: read about it here.

Pampers Size 2 - 228 count - $19.49 shipped - $.08 per diaper!
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My Little Rockstar...

2010-11-03T21:45:00.000-07:00

Sawyer has always loved music. He loves listening to music on his cd player and music on tv, etc... He has toy instruments that he has always enjoyed and whenever there is a real instrument he gets very excited. About a month ago Brandon got his guitar out and was playing for/with Sawyer. Since then Sawyer has been obsessed with guitars.

He has two toy guitars that he loves. He pretends that sticks are guitars. He gets wooden spoons from the kitchen and carries them around everywhere pretending that they are "tars". He has taken his "tar" to the babysitter, in the car, to the grocery, in the bathtub and even to bed. When he wakes from a nap - he says, "tar". When he is eating the "tar" has to been in his chair or next to him. He pretends he is playing it whenever there is music. He will bring us "tars" and have us pretend to play and make music noises so he can play and dance. He points out guitars he sees everywhere, like tv or at church. Brandon took him to the music store when he needed something, and Sawyer had a meltdown when he had to leave all the guitars. It is adorable and at times frustrating, especially when a tantrum ensues because we had to take his "tar" away for some reason.

He sure is an adorable rockstar-in-the-making!

With his "tar" in the car

With his "tar" (wooden spoon) after nap

Routine...

2010-11-03T12:08:00.000-07:00

Recently, I read our friend Sarah's post regarding her child's bedtime routine. I thought this was a great idea and decided to copy it so that I can remember it in the future and share it with him.

Sawyer's bedtime routine has been the same for about a year now, since he stopped nursing. When he was nursing, his bedtime routine was simply bath with daddy and then nursing with mama, which is pretty much Eden's bed time routine right now.

Bath time has always been with Brandon. After Sawyer was born, since I was the one to nurse and put him down every night, Brandon claimed bath time so that he could also be a part of the bedtime routine. I bathed Eden a few weeks ago and I actually had a hard time because I have given so few baths!

Every night around 8pm we start our bedtime routine. First, we clean up all the toys. Sawyer usually participates by picking up books and blocks. Then it is time for bath. Sawyer has always loved water and taking a bath. (Here is a video of him excitedly crawling to the bath when he was 9 months old). He has lots of toys in the bath, but a part of the bath time routine most nights is reading a bath book (book with rubbery pages) called Mimi's Toes. He loves to get tickled as a part of the story in which Mimi the monkey gets her toes tickled in the bath. Bath time is completed with pajamas and a pacifier.

After bath, I am usually waiting for Sawyer with a sippy cup of milk and a couple books. He crawls up in our bed with his milk and stuffed monkey. We cuddle while I read. I try to change up the books up every few nights, if for no other reason than my sanity. He loves Elmo books and Little Golden books the best (Poky Little Puppy, etc...). We also read a story from the Jesus Storybook Bible. He calls it "Jesus Bible".

While we are reading, I remind him to drink his milk. He will take out the pacifier and take a small sip, then look at me and I will say, "Take a big drink," and he takes a big drink.

Finally, we read his "goodnight book", which Sawyer call his "busy" book. This is the final book every night. I don't have to look at the pages, I recite it from memory. The book is rhymes about animals going to bed with touch and feel areas on each page. On the first page is a cat with a ball of yarn and every night Sawyer points out the ball on the page. There is also a ball on the second page with the dog, this also gets pointed out. On the fourth page there is a chick and part of the rhyme is, "you day has been so busy...". Whenever I say the word busy I tickle him. I have no idea how this started, but he anticipates it every night with a look, or a giggle, or by tickling himself. On the last page of the book there is a little girl with a blanket and he covers her up. The line, "your day has been so busy" also repeats on this page and we again do the tickles. The last line of the book is, "and now it is time to say good night". But we read the last word, we say, "and now it is time to say ...." then I look at Sawyer. He knows what is supposed to come next, but every night he waits for me to say, "what do you say?", then he says, "nigh-nigh!".

As soon as he says, "nigh-nigh" he climbs down out of the bed to go say good night to baby and daddy. He comes in the living room, kisses everyone and says "i ove eww" (i love you). Brandon then asks him if he is ready to go night night and Sawyer heads toward his room.

As we are putting him in his bed we sing Jesus loves me and we say prayers. He replies with Amen and then lays down in his crib. As we leave the room we again say good night and I love you and he replies.

As Sarah said on her post, it could all change any night without warning. But for now we will try to enjoy it just the wait it is.

Happy Halloween...

2010-11-02T18:57:00.000-07:00

I have always loved Fall, the month of October, and Halloween. I love the leaves changing color and the smell of fall. I love pumpkins and mums and fall decorations. I love cooler weather (but not cold weather).

I have always loved halloween. Not for the scary ghost aspect, but the fun, silly dress up and candy part. I can thank my dad for this. My brother and I would pick out a costume, but then my dad would make it awesome. He would accessorize and stuff and paint faces. He got into it, therefore we really did as well. Also, when I was growing up Halloween was a time for visiting family. We lived on a farm, so in order to trick or treat we had to get in the car and drive. Instead of going to a neighborhood, we would just visit family and friends. It was an all night event that consisted of lots of visiting and taking pictures and I loved it.

We have started some of our own family traditions involving fall and Halloween. One of those is visiting the orchard, which I have blogged about before. We carve our pumpkins. This year we started what I believe will be a new tradition, the Halloween Party at the Louisville Zoo. We put the kids in their costumes, put them in the wagon and walked around collecting candy and seeing the decorations and costumes. It was a lot of fun. Sawyer loved it.

We did trick or treating with Sawyer last year, but this year he understood a little better. He hasn't really had candy before, but he enjoyed it. We visited neighbors, friends and our beloved babysitter, Ms. Cheryl.

Here are a few pics of our adventures. I may try to dig through some old photos at my parents and post some pics of my brother and I in our Halloween costumes growing up.

Candy bar! yum!

with Ms. Cheryl

Baby Dedication...

2010-10-10T12:12:00.001-07:00

Today was Eden's baby dedication at church. Much like with Sawyer (read about it here), I was slightly preoccupied with where to stand, what to repeat, the increasingly heavy baby in my arms, Sawyer's antics with the audience, etc... to grasp and focus on the promises and importance of this time. But it is an important day!

Examples of baby dedication in Scripture:

And she (Hannah) made a vow, saying, "O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head."

When God answered Hannah's prayer by giving her a son, she remembered her vow:

"As surely as you live, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the LORD. I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." And he worshiped the LORD there.

Speaking of Mary and Joseph bringing Baby Jesus:
"...they brought Him to Jerusalem to present Him to the Lord." Luke 2:22

I find the need to remind myself that today was not about introducing the new babies to the church or showing off our beautiful daughter, but it was a commitment, a covenant, we made with the Lord and before our Church community. We made promises to pray for Eden, teach her to pray, to discipline her according to God's guidance, to teach her and guide her in God's Word and wisdom, and to be a Godly example to her. These are not light promises!

Here is a link to our church's baby dedication service.

Some important scriptures that I am reflecting on today:

"Listen, Israel: The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! 5 You must love the Lord your God with your whole mind, your whole being, and all your strength. 6 These words I am commanding you today must be kept in mind, 7 and you must teach them to your children and speak of them as you sit in your house, as you walk along the road, as you lie down, and as you get up." Deut. 6:4-7
Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6

"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward." Psalm 127:3

"O my people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. ² I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter hidden things, things from of old- ³ what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us. ⁴ We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done. ⁵ He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children, ⁶ so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. ⁷ Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands." Psalm 78:1-7

Even as I read these scriptures, I am struck and overwhelmed by my failures. Every day I miss times to teach my children about the Lord, to pray for them, to show them mercy and grace, to effectively discipline them according to God's Word. Praise the Lord for His mercy and grace! It is comforting that despite my failures the Lord is in control and He is seeking the hearts of my children.

Prayers are needed! First and foremost, that my children will seek and be led toward God and that one day we will rejoice in the day of their salvation! Also, that Brandon and I will understand the commitments we made today and the day that we decided to have children, that we would seek God and His wisdom in raising these beautiful babies with which we were blessed.

Today in pictures:

2010 Family Trip to the Orchard...

2010-10-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

As per tradition, we made our annual pumpkin picking trip to the orchard this weekend (See here for last year's trip). Even though it was unseasonably warm, we picked pumpkins and apples, drank apple cider slushes, enjoyed yummy doughnuts, rode on the wagons, etc... and even bumped in to the Brainards.

Here are a few pics to enjoy - you can click to the post above to compare to 2008 and 2009.

Eden's Name...

2010-09-28T18:44:00.000-07:00

Today I signed up for Eden's baby dedication at church. As a part of this, I had to write a short paragraph about her that included how she got her name. I love to think about Eden Brooke's name.

When we were deciding on names for both of our children we had a few specific criteria - unique, but not weird, strong, must sound good at any age, masculine (for Sawyer) and feminine (for Eden). Both Sawyer and Eden were names that we kind of just stumbled upon when researching/looking at baby name books and websites.

We were drew to the name Sawyer right away, the meaning is woodcutter, not too much of a stretch there. However, for me how a name sounds is more important than its meaning. For me, Sawyer sounds strong and masculine, but also kind of playful. I think of Tom Sawyer, who was a mischievous little boy but who had a big heart. His middle name, James, is a family name - Brandon's first name is James. And, we both also have grandfathers and uncles named James.

Our second choice for Sawyer would have been Carter Alexander, followed by Ian Alexander. Had Sawyer been a girl, she would have been Audrey Brooke.

Eden was not even on my list of girl's names when I was pregnant the first time. I just kind of stumbled upon the name when looking at baby names on the internet - between pregnancies. I put it on my list of possible names for baby #2, but it was immediately my favorite. And though we didn't decide right away I knew that was going to be her name the day that I found out I was having a girl. For me, the name Eden is beauty and femininity and grace, and alludes to heaven/paradise. All characteristics I hope she possesses.

Eden's middle name was Brooke many years before she was even thought about. Brandon and I knew a long time ago that if/when we had a daughter her middle name would be Brooke after our dear friend, Brooke Hall, who passed away from cancer in May of 2004. Brooke Hall was an amazing woman with faith and strength that cannot even be described. Once again, characteristics I want my daughter to possess.

Brooke was one of the most authentic and giving people I ever met. I still carry a sweet note that she wrote for me around in my wallet. She fought cancer hard for 3 years. Cancer killed her but it never beat her - she was strong in heart and mind and her faith in the Lord was even stronger. She was an example and light to all who knew her. You can see why I would want my daughter to have the name of someone so special.

Though there never was really a second choice, I just let Brandon think there was (haha), Scarlet Brooke was another option for Eden, along with Audrey. If Eden had been a boy, then the name would have been Deacon Carter.

I hope my children love their names, I know I do!

Eden's Birth Story

2010-08-04T14:13:00.000-07:00

As I did with Sawyer (read it here), I wanted to take the time to write down Eden's birth story. Being that my entire pregnancy was the total opposite of Sawyer's pregnancy it is no surprise that the labor was as well. Although this labor was no where near the 40 hours I experienced with Sawyer (Thank God!), it was not without its challenges and influenced greatly by my previous experience. For me Eden's birth story also included the time leading up to her birth, as well as the weeks after, which both held many challenges.

Eden,

The story of your birth actually begins on September 19th, your daddy's birthday, because that is the day we found out I was pregnant. We were very excited! My pregnancy with you was quite different than my pregnancy with your brother. First of all, from about week 6 to almost 14 weeks I was sick. I wasn't sick one day with your brother, so this was unexpected and not much fun, especially when I was trying to chase your brother who had just turned one. Your daddy was a big help during this time because I was often unable to eat myself much less prepare food for him or feed your brother.

I also had a challenging period in the winter when I was sick for about 6 weeks with the stomach flu, a cold, bronchitis, and a sinus infection. In April, when I was 34 weeks pregnant, we had a tense few weeks because we thought you were trying to come early! Mom was put on bed rest and medication to help keep you inside for a while longer.

Apparently the medication worked, even though we were on pins and needles awaiting your arrival for weeks, you showed up two days past your due date on May 28th.

A little background information regarding your mom and childbirth. When I was pregnant with your brother, we made the decision to to pursue natural childbirth (no medications, medical interventions). We took classes on the Bradley Method and hired our teacher, Dori, to be our doula. Your brother's childbirth was 40 hours long and ended with mom having to change some of those decisions in order to have a vaginal birth and not a c-section. When we found out we were pregnant again, your dad and I decided we would like to again try for a natural birth.

Labor began as I was getting out of bed, literally, my water broke as I was climbing out of bed at around 6:45 am. I was very surprised. The doctor broke my water with your brother, so it was not something I expected to happen.

Your father was surprised as well when I walked in the living room to let him know. We then began preparing for whatever was to happen. First, we called your Nana to come so that she could take care of Sawyer. I then called Dori, who was supposed to be our doula again with your birth. Unfortunately, Dori was out of town and unable to get back. She was instead going to send her back-up Vanessa to be with us. To be honest, this through me for quite a loop. Labor is a very intense time and I trusted and knew Dori and her style, having someone fill in for her was going to change the experience that I expected.

My contractions picked up quickly and before long they were 5 minutes apart and pretty strong. I was doing a pretty good job of relaxing, but mentally I was nervous. Vanessa, Dori's back-up doula, arrived after not too long. While she was very nice, she was not as educated about childbirth as Dori and had the opposite personality.

At around 11am, my contractions were 3ish minutes apart and much stronger, so we decided we should head to the hospital. Riding in a car while having contractions is very uncomfortable, especially over bumps! Getting checked in, getting a room, etc is also a time when it is hard to relax. After getting a room, the nurse checked me to see how far a long I was. I was 4 cm, which was a disappointment to me.

It was at this point that I think I mentally started to panic. In my mind I should have progressed a lot further. The Bradley method teaches relaxation mentally, physically and emotionally. I was doing fine relaxing my body, but I could not relax my mind or my emotions. Over the next period, I tried several things to relax, including spending some time in the labor tub and was checked again and determined to be somewhere around 5 cm.

Mentally and emotionally I had a break down. I couldn't stop thinking that my lack of progression meant that this labor was going to be 40 hours again. And as this thought ran through my head again and again - I decided that I did not want to pursue the natural route if this labor was going to end the same way - why not get the epidural now.

Your dad was really surprised when I told him my decision. At first, he was confused and tried to reassure me and convince me that this was not what I wanted. He thought that I thought I couldn't do it. I knew that I could do it, after all I had done it for 36 hours with your brother. This was different. I reassured your dad, the doula, and our midwife that I did not want to do it.

Once this decision was made, I had to receive a bag of fluids before I could get the epidural, this was about 3 pm. During this time I laid on my side in the bed and the contractions were very strong. Your Nana and Pa arrived during this time.

My midwife encouraged me to get checked again before I got the epidural, but I did not want to, mainly out of fear. The anesthesiologist came to administer the epidural and it was very uncomfortable. I was having very strong contractions and it took two times to get the epidural in - this had me second guessing my decision.

A short time later I was comfortable and the midwife checked me - I was 9 cm - this was shocking to me! Apparently things were moving much faster than I thought and the midwife thought I would be pushing soon.

For the next period of time, I rested and talked with your dad, Vanessa, and Nana and Pa. My contractions slowed in strength after a while - and I was given a small dose of Pitocin to encourage stronger contractions.

Not too long after that I could feel the epidural beginning to wear off some and I also began feeling a lot of pressure. Around 4:30 I was definitely feeling pressure and starting to feel the need to push. I soon informed the nurses and I was checked. They thought I still I had a little to go because you had not dropped enough. But very soon I was feeling very strong contractions and was really unable not to push with each one - I asked the nurse to get the midwife.

She also checked me and seemed to think the baby was high, but was willing to try to begin pushing. I began pushing at 5:30 pm. Momma was determined that she was going to see you very soon! After only 22 minutes of very strong pushes - we got to see your beautiful face at 5:52 pm!

You were beautiful with a full head of hair. You were also much bigger than we expected at 8 pounds 5 ounces (a pound bigger than your brother) and 23 inches (we think this was a mistake). It was amazing to finally get to hold you after a very long 40 weeks and 2 days! You were perfect.

Your dad and I just loved looking at you and we soon got to share you with Nana and Pa. You nursed so well right away, which was an answered prayer. A short time later you got to meet our Mammaw and Granddaddy who brought your big brother to meet you. Sawyer was very interested in the baby!

You were such a blessing right from the beginning. Immediately in the hospital we noticed that you were a very laid back baby. You seemed to go with the flow and not really get too angry even when hungry or having a dirty diaper.

However, for me. the story of your arrival into the world doesn't end here because of what happened just a few days after we came home from the hospital.

You were born on a Friday. We came home from the hospital on Sunday. Early in the morning of the next Friday is when we first noticed that something was strange. Up until this point you had been fairly consistent at waking up every 2 to 3 hours to eat. On this particular night you did not wake up on your own - I would have to wake you up to feed and it wasn't easy to get you to wake up.

At first, we weren't concerned, babies sleep a lot. But as that Friday continued, we grew a little more concerned. You weren't really waking up much at all. You weren't eating much at all. We even tried giving you a bath to get you awake enough to feed. We decided to call the pediatrician and make an appointment just to be sure - we thought maybe you were jaundice.

I took you to the doctor on my own because your brother was napping and your dad was going to meet your Nana so that Sawyer could spend the weekend with them. It turned out that the doctor was much more concerned than I anticipated about your condition. She was concerned about possible infections. She gave me the choice to take you to the hospital for some tests or to go home and monitor the situation and calling her on her cell phone to update her. I asked what she thought I should do - she told me that if you were hers then she would go to the hospital.

It was then that I got very upset. You were so tiny and this was scary and unexpected! I was so scared of what could be wrong! I had to take you to the hospital by myself while your dad took Sawyer to Nana. In the ER I cried through check-in and the initial paperwork, you were still not waking up.

After some time waiting, your dad finally arrived. I was very relieved to have him there with me and was glad he would be there to be with you for your tests. I was not strong enough for that. At this point they did many tests - blood draws, swabs, chest x-rays, and finally a spinal tap. Your daddy was with you through it all! It was so hard to see our tiny baby go through all of this!

Finally, the doctor came in and told us that you had meningitis, there were white blood cells in your spinal fluid. We were very upset. They told us that they would be starting you on antibiotics and taking you to the Pediatric ICU. This was so unexpected and horrible, but you were taking it all in stride. Other than sleeping a lot you weren't showing symptoms, which was a good sign.

It was hard to see you with an IV in your tiny arm. They started antibiotics right away and moved us to the ICU at about 2am. The nurses were amazing. We were very tired and managed to get some rest.

We were eager to get some answers as to what was going on and what we could expect. When we finally got to see a doctor - we were told that we were waiting on the cultures from the blood and spinal samples. These would take about 48 hours to show growth. The cultures would tell us whether you had bacterial or viral meningitis. If the cultures grew it would be bacteria, if not then we would know that it was viral. But until then they would be treating you with antibiotics in case it was bacterial. Meningitis is an infection in your brain and spinal cord that is very serious, with bacterial being more serious than viral.

One of the hard parts about being in the ICU was that you were "isolated", meaning that we had to wear gowns when in the room and change them every time we left. The doctors and nurses wore masks and gloves. It was hard to be in the ICU and see all the very sick kids that were around you. I was having a very hard time, but managed to calm down as the day went on. You were doing well and we were even told that we would get out of ICU that day.

We didn't actually get out of ICU until very late on Saturday night. It was great to get a room of our own, especially since dad and I could finally shower. You were getting better and acting more like yourself. We were still waiting for test results, but on Sunday night we got reassuring news that so far the cultures had not grown anything and that there was a good chance that they wouldn't. If that was the case, then you would be diagnosed with viral meningitis and sent home.

Unfortunately, on Monday morning we got bad news. Your blood culture was growing bacteria. This meant that you probably had bacterial meningitis. We would have to wait for the spinal culture and to find out what kind of bacteria it was to be sure. This was devastating news. Bacterial meningitis can have some serious consequences like mental and development delays, hearing loss, and more. It was really hard for me to hear this news. I was so lucky to have your dad there to help keep me calm.

The doctors were confused because the spinal fluid culture never grew any bacteria and if it were bacterial meningitis then it should have, but the white blood cells in your spinal fluid could only mean meningitis. Also, the bacteria that was going in your blood culture was growing very slowly and they could not identify it yet.

We were told that there were several possibilities. One, that it was bacterial meningitis and you would need to be treated with IV antibiotics for up to 21 days, depending on the severity we may be able to take you home. The other possibility was that the culture was contaminated and that you actually had viral meningitis all along.

We had to wait for 4 days for the doctors to be able to give us an answer. The residents, pediatrician and infectious disease doctors were all waiting for the bacteria to grow large enough to be identified. This was such a frustrating time for us because of not knowing. The days were long in the hospital and we really missed your brother as well. It was hard seeing you get more blood drawn, new IVs, and monitors hooked up to you.

Finally, on Thursday morning they were able to tell us that the bacteria was a contaminant! You had to have a CT scan to make sure that there was no swelling on your brain. There was not, which meant we got to take you home! Praise God!

This time was so hard for us and very scary. But it certainly put things in to perspective. I wasn't so nervous about being home with 2 little ones. because I knew that if God could get me through seeing you sick then I could handle that. I thank God for the strength He gave us and for the MANY family and friends that were praying for you. I wish you could know how many prayers were going up for you! It was amazing and humbling.

While this time in the hospital was not actually part of your birth, it all blends together for me because you were so new and tiny. I am so thankful for you! I love you Eden Brooke!

Photos from Eden's birth:

Baby Stats

2010-07-07T11:24:00.000-07:00

Since I have been out of commission for a while now, I have missed sharing many things that have gone on in the past few months including milestones that I would like to keep track of. Yesterday we took Sawyer and Eden for check-ups, so I thought I would update their stats and milestones while I was thinking about it.

Sawyer James at 21 months:
Height: 34 inches
Weight: 26 lbs

Sawyer has always been ahead when it comes to motor skills and that has continued to be the case. At this point, he can run, jump, go up and down steps unassisted, and turn somersaults (learned that at gymnastics). He loves to dance, play, swim, be outside, and watch "Sprout".

Sawyer finally started talking at about 17 months and since then has been learning words like crazy! Right now he can identify mama, dada, baby, pa, nana, mammaw, grandaddy, mo-mo (moses), ms. cheryl, and sadie (babysitter's cat). He also learned this past week to say his name when asked, "Sawjer", is how he pronounces it.

He can point to and name a lot of body parts on himself and others. He particularly loves to do this with Eden. He can also say the names of and make the noises of several animals. Right now he is big on saying horse (he pronounces it "orse"). He is the cutest when he says "me-ow" because he sounds very quiet and sad, not sure why his kitty is so sad.

He loves to be read to and is in a phase where he likes you to read the same book over and over and over again. Some favorites include: "I Love You, Stinky Face"; "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie"; and a little golden book about Mickey Mouse and an airplane. He also enjoys the PBS kids channel Sprout, where he watches, dances and sings along with Play with Me Sesame, The Wiggles and Barney. He can identify Barney ("Narney"), Elmo ("Melmo"), Ernie, and Cookie Monster.

He has been a great big brother. He has never really had a jealous moment with her. He is very interested in what she is doing and does not like it if she gets upset. He usually has to know where she is, likes to give her hugs and kisses, and tries to "Rocky, rocky" her if she is in her bouncy or car seat. We have to tell him to be easy a lot, because he wants to point, love and hold her.

He is a good eater and doesn't refuse much as long as he is in the mood to eat it. He definitely has his Daddy's sweet tooth. He is progressing with learning to use a fork and spoon, and likes to try to do it himself most of the time. He is also a good sleeper and napper, and often asks himself to go down for a nap by saying "night, night" and getting his blanket.

Upcoming challenges: potty training, weaning from the pacifier and moving to a toddler bed.

Eden Brooke at 5 Weeks:
Height: 21 1/2 inches (clearly mis-measured at birth)
Weight: 10 lbs 5 oz

There is not near as much to say about Eden since she is only 5 weeks old. She is so beautiful and a delightful baby. She has a very laid back personality. She doesn't cry a lot and sometimes only fusses a little when she gets hungry. We have to check her diaper often, because she doesn't always let us know when she is dirty.

She is on a fairly regular schedule and is actually sleeping pretty well. She will sleep 3 to 4 hour stints at night in between feedings and usually has several long sleep times during the day. She has also been a great nurser from the beginning, latching on perfectly just a few minutes after being born.

She holds her head up pretty well. She enjoys tummy time and bath times, but she doesn't object to much!

Upcoming challenges: moving from our room to her crib

Eden's room

2010-05-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos of Eden's room since it was finished. The wall color looks weird, but it is a pale yellow. Enjoy!

A comparison...

2010-05-07T06:55:00.000-07:00

Several people have asked for me to post pregnancy pics of myself.

I thought I would do a comparison of preggo pics from Sawyer and now from Eden.

About 28 weeks with Eden:

About 28 weeks with Sawyer:

About 32 weeks with Eden:
About 32 weeks with Sawyer:

40 weeks with Eden (terrible picture! :)):

40 weeks, in labor, with Sawyer (the sheet is there to help get him to drop into my pelvis):

Hopefully baby pictures coming soon!

a long 40 weeks (or less, we'll see)...

2010-04-28T06:59:00.000-07:00

I had posted before about some of the challenges that we have encountered with this pregnancy that have been both unexpected and difficult. Now, don't get me wrong, I think it would be an exaggeration to say that this has been a difficult because I know that others have a much harder time than I have had.

The exhaustion I can blame on both being pregnant and having a VERY active toddler running around, I was aware that this would be the case when I got pregnant less that a year after he was born. The 10 weeks of morning sickness was unexpected. In Jan/Feb I developed a cold/bronchitis/sinus infection that I thought I would never recover from - 6 weeks and 3 rounds of antibiotics later, I was finally better.

I do feel like I never reached that feel good second trimester phase with this pregnancy. Just never got the energy or even the appetite I had with Sawyer, maybe because I was too busy chasing Sawyer. In the third trimester the sleeping difficulties and constant heartburn came on much quicker than I was expecting.

But the latest set of challenges has been the most unexpected. Two weeks ago when I was just 34 weeks I started having contractions that I thought were a little close together. I had been having braxton-hicks for a while, but I called my midwife and she had me go on and come in just to check.

When they were monitoring me at the office I was having contractions every 3 minutes, so she sent me over to the hospital for a bag of fluids and a shot to hopefully stop contractions. Luckily, I was not dilated and the contractions slowed after receiving the fluids.

Unfortunately, the next day the contractions stated again and I was put on a medicine called Procardia (main use is actually to treat high blood pressure), which I was able to stop at 37 weeks.

Now, we are waiting. Eden Brooke McGrew could enter this world at any time in the next few weeks. I have been off the medication for several days and my contractions have gotten a little more intense, but not much change. We are very glad we made it to a safe 37 weeks!

There are other changes going on as well, but that is a separate post! The craziness of pregnancy and having a 19 month old has meant my poor blog has been neglected, but hopefully I will be updating soon with pictures of my beautiful baby girl.

sawyer at gymnastics

2010-02-28T13:41:00.000-08:00

Because my little man is wild and crazy, we decided to channel some of that energy so we signed him up for toddler gymnastics as a Christmas present. He started the first week in January and it is crazy and so much fun. He does really well despite being the youngest in the class by like 5 months.

Besides the obvious benefit of him being totally exhausted by the end of the class, he has also gained a lot of skill. He does assisted flips, has learned to jump, can hang on the the bar, and even swing from the trampeze. He has also learned how to better follow instructions - he will sit with the other kids in a circle, follow the teacher from station to station (kind of), and is learning to wait his turn.

Sawyer's absolute favorite thing to do? Run and throw himself into the pit of foam cubes!

Sawyer's First Haircut

2010-02-08T12:47:00.000-08:00

My parents came over and babysat Sawyer for the afternoon on Sunday. They had a great time and so did we on our date. When we got back my dad gave Sawyer his first haircut. It was difficult for me because I just do not feel like Sawyer should be old enough to get a haircut. We had to cut off his adorable curls because they were starting to go down his back and stick up every where. It definitely looks better, but I really miss those pretty curls on the back of his neck.

Here are some photos of the event:

Sawyer Feeding Himself Yogurt

2010-02-08T12:43:00.000-08:00

Sawyer has recently been trying to feed himself. This weekend he tried to feed himself yogurt and succeeded.

Very cute!

Winter Photos 09-10

2010-02-02T12:57:00.001-08:00

So I have been major MIA in the past like 6 weeks. It has been a crazy and exhausting time for our family. Of course the holidays are always a crazy time for us because of traveling to visit family, but this year the past two months have been crazier than ever.

My morning sickness finally got better right before Thanksgiving, then of course we were traveling for Thanksgiving. The Friday after Thanksgiving Brandon left and went to Atlanta for 16 days! He went to take a class and got some major certifications, which are kind of like having a Master's Degree for a IT guy. However, it was an incredibly hard 2 weeks for me. This pregnancy has been exhausting for me in more ways than I can actually express, so having Brandon gone was really hard. We haven't been apart that long in many, many years and as far as I am concerned I never want that to happen again.

One bright spot of that two weeks was that Sawyer and I traveled to Chicago to meet my brother during the middle of Brandon's trip. My brother and I have taken a shopping trip to Nashville every year for the past 6 years, but since he is living in Fargo now we were able to find some really great plane tickets to meet in Chicago. Though it was really, really cold - we still had a great time. Got some shopping done and just a great visit. It was a difficult experience to travel through the airport and on the plane with a 14 month old by myself. Pictures of our trip are posted below.

We of course then had Christmas, which included lots more traveling, and we were exhausted by the end. We finally thought we were getting back to a normal routine when all the sickness came. Brandon and Sawyer woke up with a stomach virus the first week of the year. It was horrible to witness my tiny little guy go through this. He couldn't stop getting sick, so we actually ended up at the ER of the children's hospital. They were able to give him meds to stop him from getting sick.

After Brandon and Sawyer got better I ended up getting the virus which hit me hard and ended up with middle of the night phone calls to my midwife and trips to the pharmacy. Unfortunately, this was not the end. The day I started feeling better, Sawyer came down with a cold which led to an ear infection. Then Brandon got a cold. Then I got a cold.

My cold then turned into bronchitis. A few days of antibiotics later and it moved up in to my head and I ended up with the worst sinus infection I have ever had in my life. HORRIBLE. Over a week and a second, stronger antibiotic later and I am beginning to feel a little better. About 80%.

We are hoping that things ease up a little now and we can finally fall back in to a normal routine. It would really help us all feel better around here. We are definitely praying that the last half of the pregnancy is easier on me, and all of us.

So that is where I have been in the past few weeks. Hope that you enjoy the photos below of our trip to Chicago and the Sawyer's first time playing in the snow from a few weeks ago.

Out to with Uncle Jeremy

Hotel with Uncle Jeremy

On the crazy Christmas train as we traveled to the airport for our flights home.

First time playing in the snow!

Christmas 2009

2010-01-12T18:39:00.000-08:00

Here are some photos from Christmas along with some adorable Christmas photos we had taken a few weeks before:

On our way to see what is under the Christmas tree.

Sitting on his new Elmo couch.

Opening his new "car" from Mammaw and Granddaddy.

"not me" Monday!

2009-12-07T18:49:00.000-08:00

The first time I saw a "not me" Monday post was here, but I had several other friends follow suit lately. Also, as a follower of McMama's blog, I thought it as about time that I participated. So I am going to confess all the things that I would NEVER have done in the past week. :)

- I would NEVER go to the vending machine at work and buy two bags of chips, open them and pour them into one bag, so that it looks like I am only eating one. This is something that a crazy pregnant woman would do, not me!

- I would NEVER leave the house, go eat and to Target without realizing that I did not have a bra on. Seriously, who does that? Not me!

- I would NEVER be unable to find my cell phone charger because my son took it from the cabinet and hid it from me, and having no choice but to go buy a new one. I am always watching my son, so he could never get away with that!

- I would NOT on more than one occasion in the past week carry my son in from the cold without any socks on because he refuses to leave them on when in the car. I always take the time to make sure my baby has warm feet.

- I would NEVER not check my mail for three days because it was too much effort to go get it. That would be silly, it is only a 100 feet from my front door.

Glad that I am not the type of person that would do any of these thing, NOT ME!

the end of nursing...

2009-12-05T08:19:00.001-08:00

About two weeks ago there was a major change in our household. I stopped nursing. 14 months after beginning what turned out to be an amazing journey, Sawyer and I decided that it was time to wean.

I say Sawyer and I because I think he was ready to stop even before I was. It was a harder decision than I thought it would be mostly because I was going to miss the cuddling. However, I (actually my breasts) wanted some time off between nursing Sawyer and the next baby.

I did not expect to nurse as long as I did. It was just a blessing. When I first made the decision to breast feed I intended to shoot for 6 to 9 months with the possibility of going one year if it went well. I was blessed in that Sawyer and I both took to it very well. Sawyer was a champion nurser from the time we got home from the hospital.

There were certainly complications engorgement, plugged milk ducts with fevers, soreness, and embarrassing leaking incidents. The worst part of nursing for me was the breast pump. I was lucky in that I am only away from him at work for 5 hours. But I would have to pump twice and you don't get as much in those pumpings as the baby would if eating. This led to me getting up in the middle of the night to pump (once Sawyer dropped his middle of the night feeding) to get enough to feed him while I was working. That's right, Sawyer was sleeping through the night, and I was not!

I did give up the pump in Sept. That was a fantastic milestone. Slowly over the past couple months we dropped the final three nursings (morning, afternoon and before bed). The only part of this that really bothered me was the before bed nursing. Every night for 14 months I had held my sweet baby and got some peaceful cuddling in before bed. This became especially great when my little guy became mobile and I couldn't get cuddles any other time. However, now we have started a new bedtime routine of cuddling, stories and a cup of milk that is just as special.

I am looking forward to nursing our next child and I hope that it works out as well as it has with Sawyer. I hope that I get to see some of the same funny faces in the beginning that Sawyer made as he nursed himself to sleep. I hope I get to enjoys hours and months of sweet cuddling. I hope that I get to nourish and strengthen my child's body in the way that God designed.

For now it is nice to rest.

Baby McGrew #2!

2009-11-22T18:33:00.000-08:00

That's right, Brandon and I have reproduced again! We found out on Sept 19 (Brandon's birthday) that I was pregnant. Due on May 26.

This is the reason for the limited number of blog posts in the past couple months. I have been sick. I was never sick with Sawyer, not even once, and was barely nauseous. This time completely opposite.

Honestly, it has been a very frustrating time for me. First of all, I was not expecting to be sick, since I wasn't with Sawyer. But this time is also very different because I have a wild and active toddler who needs to be chased and fed and picked up. I haven't been able to feed Sawyer dinner for weeks because I am nauseous at night. We have had to cancel/change plans, miss church, and skip our nightly fall walks. All very frustrating to me. I have barely cooked, rarely cleaned, and let the laundry pile up beyond belief. I have laid on the couch and watched my child play when I wanted to play with him and handed him off to Brandon when I want to hold him.

But I have heard the heartbeat and possibly felt a tiny little baby kick. I know that God is knitting together another precious little baby inside me, so despite all of the frustration I am thankful.

I am also hopeful that this passes soon! First trimester almost over!

Halloween 2009

2009-11-01T07:13:00.000-08:00

We had a great Halloween - my little "Bam Bam" helped carve pumpkins and then had his first trick or treating experience.

Carving pumpkins with Daddy

Trick or treating!

Trick or treating at Ms. Cheryl's house

"What is this stuff they are putting in my bag?"

With the finished result of the pumpkin carving!

family trip to the orchard...

2009-09-27T14:10:00.000-07:00

Today we took our second annual family trip to Hubers Orchard in Indiana. We had a great time picking apples and pumpkins, riding on the wagon, drinking apple cider, and just being outside in the beautiful weather.

We picked a bag full of apples for me to make apple pie, fried apples, apple sauce for Sawyer, and of course just for munching. We also got a big pumpkin and a small pumpkin (sawyer's pumpkin) that we will carve later on in the month.

Last year when we went Sawyer was just a few weeks old (and so small!), so this year was much different and he seemed to have a great time. He loves being outside!

2008 Trip to Huber's

2009 Trip to Huber's

a year in review...

2009-09-23T17:56:00.000-07:00

What an amazing, exhausting, completely joyful year we have had. Sawyer has been one for over a week now and I can still not believe it! How could the time pass so quickly? I thought that I should take time to review and remember some of the wonderful things of this past year.

Sawyer's birth was of course the most amazing day(s) of my life. (read the birth story here.) More exhausting than any Ironman competition in the world, emotionally devastating and yet at the same time the most wonderful miracle. I am in awe of how God allows us to be a part of miracles like bringing new life into this world.

The first few weeks as a new mother were the hardest time in my life. I was tired, anxious, hormonal, and completely unsure of how to care for this little person. At the same time, I was overwhelmed with love for him. I have tried hard to remember the faces and noises he made during this time - so cute!

Breastfeeding has been a very large part of this past year and soon deserves a post all of its own. For now I will say that it has been some of my favorite moments with Sawyer. In the beginning, it was amazing to know that I was nourishing and connecting with my baby on such a deep level. As he has gotten bigger and more mobile, it has been the time when I can hold him and get some snuggles from an otherwise uncooperative little man.

Every milestone has meant more pride and joy as we watch him learn about his world. It is another miracle that God allows us to participate in as we watch our babies with no knowledge soak up the world around them and learn, explore and engage it. Rolling, sitting, playing, cooing, crawling, walking - all amazing and joyous moments for us as parents.

At the same time watching Sawyer grow so quickly has been sad at times as well. I just want him to slow down. It seems that I don't get to enjoy each stage and soak it up like I would want to. I want to document it all and remember every moment! Unfortunately, these moments just happen too quickly and before I know it there is a new stage!

Probably the best moments of the year have been enjoying family and friends loving on and getting to know Sawyer. Of course, the relationship between Brandon and Sawyer is the one that brings me the most joy. I don't think there is a better father in the world! He is loving and interactive and has been here every second possible, not only to love and dote on his son but to support me as well. It is beautiful.

I couldn't have imagined a better first year as a mom. I didn't imagine that it would be this wonderful. I couldn't have picked a more happy, loving, funny, smart, or handsome child. I adore him!

So once again, Happy First Birthday Sawyer! and Happy First Anniversary as Parents to Brandon and I! Looking forward to what year two brings!

Sawyer - September 14, 2008

Sawyer - around September 14, 2009

for uncle jeremy and aunt pam!

2009-09-14T19:29:00.000-07:00

Photos of Sawyer opening his birthday gifts from Uncle Jeremy and Aunt Pam and a video of him enjoying the gift!

Mom and Dad woke me up from my nap, but now I get a present from
Uncle Jeremy and Aunt Pam!

This toy is awesome!

Cute shirt!

Playing with the box! :)

Kind of dark, but here is Sawyer playing/dancing/sing along with his new toy!

LOVE YOU UNCLE JEREMY AND AUNT PAMMIE!

ONE YEAR!

2009-09-14T19:19:00.000-07:00

Sawyer is one! Amazing! Totally unbelievable! I cannot believe my sweet little baby is one year old today!

Yesterday, we had a fabulous party with family and friends and had a wonderful time. Sawyer played, got some new toys, and of course, enjoyed his first cake! I am working on a post reflecting on Sawyer's first year, but for now enjoy these pics of his party and birthday!

Enjoying his new wagon from Nana and Pa

Dear friends and all of our beautiful babies - it has been a busy year!

CAKE!

This cake is yummy!

This cake is also FUN!

A quick rinse after cake!

Presents! a guitar of my own!

More presents!

More cake on the night of my birthday!

I LOVE CAKE!

Sawyer in Fargo...

2009-08-20T13:26:00.000-07:00

We did it! We took a trip to Fargo to visit my brother Jeremy and his beautiful wife Pam - and we all survived, by the skin of our teeth! :)

We had a wonderful and eventful time - beginning with the trip to Fargo. Sawyer's first flight from Louisville to Chicago went really well, he even napped. After a layover in Chicago that included lunch and play time, we had another successful flight into Minneapolis.

Some of the fun began then as I went to pick up our rental car and left Brandon and Sawyer at the airport. It was supposed to be a quick cab ride, pick up the car and then return in time for Brandon to have gotten the luggage and changed Sawyer's diaper. Nothing is that easy, right?

First to clarify, we didn't rent our car at the airport because it was $300 cheaper to go a few miles down the road. Before I even got out of the cab at the rental car place, someone was asking how they could help me, not in a friendly-great-customer-service-kind-of-way, but with much more panic. Her response when I said I was there to pick up a car was, "We don't have any cars."

The short version of this story is that they majorly overbooked (not just a couple cars, but like 15) and they didn't know when they were going to get me a car. I panicked, almost cried, had a stern discussion with them and in order to avoid me completely melting down - they did get me a car in about an hour.

A couple of good things came out of this - we got an SUV for no upcharge and they took one day off the rental fee. However, we were an hour behind and now in the middle of rush hour traffic with a baby that had barely napped all day. The 3 hour drive took almost 5 hours and my poor little man had a major melt down in the middle of nowheresville, MN, a meltdown so bad that I took him out of his car seat and tried to comfort him as we drove and both sobbed.

Fast forward - we arrived in Fargo at Jeremy and Pam's ultra cute apartment and had a great time! We toured the city (guess what? they have stores and roads and even sunshine!), ate at some delightful restaurants, played games, and went wild at the playground. We got to visit with John and Abby Fisher and meet their adorable daughter Julia.

Sawyer played and loved on his uncle and aunt - he also walked for them and learned to say "uh oh" while we were there! He also loved the toddler play area at the park just a couple blocks from Jeremy and Pam's apartment.

We left Fargo after on Saturday and spent a couple of nights in Minneapolis. There we enjoyed the pools at the hotel and walked around the Mall of America, which is a really big mall, but not much more than that, a mall. The roller coasters in the middle were amazing but not for those with small children.

Our trip home was less eventful but we all arrived home exhausted!

More to come on my thoughts of the trip, along with a story about a demon that we encountered in the form of a child (not ours)... but for now enjoy a few photos:

Sawyer at airport

Enjoying the playground near Pam and Jeremy's apt - loved it there!

Terrible group pic before we left - only Pam was ready for this one!

Climbing up the slide at the park!

With Uncle Jeremy!

sawyer walks...

2009-08-02T13:04:00.000-07:00

Look out world (especially mama and dada) because Sawyer is officially walking! Holy cow! This is amazing, terrifying and sad because it means I now have a "toddler" and not a baby!

Last week, with a little help from his Pa, Sawyer learned to walk behind his Mickey airplane:

Then, on Friday night, I set Sawyer down in the living room floor, he was standing and then he proceeded to take 3 steps and then sit down! Major mommy freak out moment, I am surprised he even did it again. I ran outside and got Brandon who was mowing. He was very disappointed that he missed it. Sawyer must have sensed that because when Brandon came in I pulled Sawyer back to his feet and he recreated the whole event for dada by taking 3 steps and then sitting down! Yea!

We then tried to document the moment by getting a video. I think he was tired by this point, but you can see him take a couple steps:

10 month milestones...

2009-07-22T18:19:00.000-07:00

Sawyer has been very busy making milestones and memories in the past few weeks, so I wanted to make sure and document a few:

First play date
Last Friday, Sawyer and I spent the day with Jenny, Kate and Spencer. We had a fantastic day! It was so great to catch up with a dear friend and spend time with her sweet babies! Sawyer played well and didn't try to put either baby in his mouth! :)
Learned to wave
We had been working on this for a while. Last week he began waving at random times, but this week he is waving back at people when they wave at him! SO cute!
Learned to stoop
Sawyer figured out that when he wants a toy or other object he doesn't have to sit all the way down to get it, but can stoop and then stand back up!
Feeding himself
Sawyer has been giving us a really hard time about eating, refusing to open his mouth and screaming through meals. We finally figured out that our little independent man was just wanting to feed himself and not have us stuffing him with a spoon. After several nights of exhausting feedings, we were very glad to figure this out. Tonight we had an uneventful dinner and Sawyer ate some baby food while feeding himself green beans, corn and grapes.
Pajamas
A minor milestone, but a little sad for momma, my big guy has been sleeping in regular pant and shirt pajamas instead of his sleep sack. This is due in part to the fact that we only have one sleep sack that fits and it has to be washed every now and then, but also because he is outgrowing the need for a sleep sack. He does look very cute and his Mammaw bought him two pairs of adorable pajamas.
Bedtime with someone other than mom or dad
This past weekend, Brandon and I attended his high school reunion in Alabama (sort of, we only stayed 45 minutes and this could be a whole blog post by itself) and a nice dinner at Shogun. While we were out, Sawyer stayed with Brandon's parents (Mammaw and Grandaddy). While we have had babysitters before and others have put Sawyer down for a nap, no one other than Brandon or I had ever put Sawyer to bed. Actually, other than the 3 days I was in Chicago in June, I am the one who puts Sawyer down each night because he nurses before bed. Bedtime with Mammaw went great and was much harder on me than Sawyer as I missed our before bed cuddle time.
Switched car seats
This milestone actually happened about 3 weeks ago, but Sawyer is no longer in his infant seat. At his 9 month check up Sawyer was 28.5 inches long, only a .5 inch from the height limit of 29 inches in his infant seat. The infant seat went to storage and out came the new convertible car seat. This has been an interesting change because the seat sits more upright and it is harder for him to sleep in it. Also, it is harder to get him in and out of when he is in the 2-door Civic, so it looks like our intentions of a new car are being sped up.

Wow! What a busy and memorable few weeks. Much more to come in the near future as we are taking our first trip with Sawyer to Fargo, North Dakota to visit Uncle Jeremy and Aunt Pam in a couple weeks and I am starting to plan a first birthday party!

More of my water baby...

2009-07-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

This afternoon we went to the pool and though we anticipated a possible meltdown, because Sawyer did not nap well this morning, we had a great time! As I have said before, Sawyer is very much like his daddy and loves the water.

Sawyer going under water!

Sawyer and "dada"

"dada" teaching Sawyer how to float!

Sawyer liked to grab the side and would hold on by himself!

Chilling on the lounge chair!

quest for cheap diapers...

2009-07-12T12:26:00.000-07:00

Diapers are so expensive and I am always on a quest for cheap diapers. This week there is a really great diaper deal at Rite Aid that I thought I would share.

First, I should say that I calculate whether I am getting a good deal on diapers based on my cost per diaper. On average, when paying full price for diapers the range is .$16 to .$23 per diaper. My goal is to pay less than $.10 per diaper.

For those of you who don't play the "drugstore game", which you can learn about here or here, Rite Aid offers what they call single check rebates on items that can be, in the case of this deal, either a check, coupon or a gift card. To redeem you enter your receipts on the web by the dates indicated and submit.

This week at Rite Aid Huggies diapers Mega packs are on sale for $14.99.

Rite Aid has three Single Check Rebates (see here):
Rebate #53 for $2 rebate on Huggies Mega Pack
Rebate #61 for $25 Rite Aid Gift Card when you purchase $50 worth of Kimberly Clark products
Rebate #800 for a coupon for a free Jumbo pack of diapers when you buy 5 packages

Rite Aid also has a $5 off $25 purchase coupon available for print here

Here is my plan:

Transaction #1
Huggies Mega Pack - 14.99
Huggies Mega Pack - 14.99
- $5 off $25 coupon
- $1.50 off Huggies (newspaper)
- $1.50 off Huggies (newspaper)
Total Due - $21.98

Transaction #2
Huggies Mega Pack - 14.99
Huggies Mega Pack - 14.99
Huggies Jumbo Pack - 11.49
- $5 off $25 coupon
- $1.50 off Huggies (newspaper)
- $1.50 off Huggies (newspaper)
- $1.50 off Huggies (newspaper)
Total Due - $31.97

Total Spent: $53.95
- $2.00 rebate
- $25.00 gift card

New Total: $26.95

Total Number of Diapers:
4 Mega Packs (size 3 - 60 -diapers) = 240
1 Jumbo Pack (size 3 - 40-diapers) = 40
1 FREE Jumbo Pack coupon (size 3 -40 diapers) = 40
TOTAL: 320 diapers

Cost per diaper: $26.95/320 = $.08 per diaper

Great deal that will last us for at least a month!

sawyer at nine months plus...

2009-07-10T13:06:00.000-07:00

Right now I am listening to my little man fuss on the monitor because he is trying hard to avoid a nap - he is way too busy for naps!

Busy - that pretty much sums up life with Sawyer these days. He is wild and fast and never, ever sits still even when he is sleeping. He is coming closer to walking every day. He has been standing for a while now and even letting go for a while. He will stand there for several seconds before sitting down. In the past few weeks he has been cruising around the furniture and even going from one piece of furniture to the other. Guess I will be doing even less sitting down than I do now when he starts walking.

Sawyer has finally started talking to us a little more after we removed the pacifier and reserve it only for naps and bed. He said "dada" on the day before Father's Day, which even though he didn't know what he was saying it was still nice. He is now babbling a lot more and saying "mama" and "baba" as well as a few other things.

Sawyer "attacking" Moses' bed. Whenever he sees it he crawls as fast as he can
and practically jumps in to it - hilarious!

Sawyer in his red, while, and blue overalls on the 4th with his Mickey Mouse
plane, his current FAVORITE toy!

Sawyer gets very excited when he hears the water running for bath time - here is his reaction - though he did get distracted a couple times on the way to the bath!

Sawyer practicing saying "mama" (taken on my phone, so not great quality)

summer goals...

2009-06-26T07:34:00.000-07:00

So I waste a LOT of time on useless television, facebook nosiness, and other mind depleting worldly garbage. For some reason I have become extremely frustrated by myself and my general lack of motivation and drive in the past few weeks.

So what am I going to do about it? Well first I thought I would start a summer reading list. Here is a list of books that I would like to read before fall - I will mark them off as I read them so that you can keep track of how I am doing. I realize this is a completely random list compiled of classics, non-fiction, and a little bit of just for fun.

Summer reading:
The Twilight Saga - COMPLETE
Wuthering Heights
The Grapes of Wrath
Called Out of Darkness (Anne Rice's autobiography about her return to faith after thirty-eight years as an atheist)
When People are Big and God is Small
Romancing Your Child's Heart

Other possible rereads if there is time:
To Kill a Mockingbird
Frankenstein
The Giver

Other summer goals to help enrich my mind, skills and life:

1. Find a ministry at church that I am truly passionate about and get involved (this is LONG overdue and a selfish sin that I need to repent of)
2. Learn to sew - I have a sewing machine and desperately want to learn to use it
3. Help Mission Fargo with any communication type needs they have - i.e. logo, website, etc...
4. Begin a personal website for freelance copywriting, web design and graphic design
5. Learn about coffee - seems silly, but I would really like to learn about the different types/roasts of coffee, how it is made and how to make a really great cup of coffee
6. Learn about wine - I enjoy a glass of red wine now and then but would like to learn more about wine, how it is made, what wine goes with what food, and how to know which wine to order when I am eating out

I think I am biting off more than I can chew with these lists. However, writing it down has already inspired me to turn off the tv and get going! Wish me luck?

Do you have any goals for the summer or any great books that you can recommend?

water baby...

2009-06-22T18:13:00.000-07:00

Being that Brandon has spent most of his life in the pool it is very important to him (and me) that Sawyer enjoys being in the water and is not scared. So far Sawyer loves water! Even from his very first bath - he loved the water and it calmed him. Now he will stay in the bath tub as long as we will allow playing with his toys and splashing. Brandon has also been practicing with him in the water - when we are on vacation and trips to the local pool.

This weekend we put him in his brand new "whale" baby pool and he had a great time playing and splashing. He really enjoyed playing in the "blowhole" spout that squirted water.

new meanings...

2009-06-21T18:43:00.000-07:00

You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back
Where there is love, I'll be there

I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name and I'll be there

I'll be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love that's strong
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after
Whenever you need me, I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name and I'll be there...

So yesterday I saw this commercial:

I have always been an emotional person who can burst in to tears with any hint of sentiment in movies, television, music and even commercials. Having a child has only intensified this emotional part of me. For some reason this commercial triggered that part of me - strongly - and listening to the lyrics of this classic song, maybe it was little Michael Jackson belting it out so powerfully, overwhelmed me with love for my child.

While I realize that this commercial is trying to sell me State Farm Insurance, I found myself aching with love for my son. Overpowered by the need for him to know that I will always be there for him and that I love him more that words could ever possibly express.

Becoming a parent has changed me in so many ways that I did not anticipate - I did not realize how much I would want to protect him from this world and how I would ache at the mere thought of him experiencing pain, physical or emotional. I wish that I could make sure that he would never feel lonely or sad or heartbroken or betrayed. I wish I could take on myself any pain that he would ever feel whether a cold or a broken arm or worse.

Becoming a parent has changed my relationship with God - I have to trust Him so much more or I think I would collapse with worry. I have to constantly remind myself that He is in control. While at the same time I feel like I may understand His love a little better.

It is amazing what one commercial with an old pop song could inspire me to think about.

But no matter what, Sawyer, please always know...

I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there...

sawyer's first family vacation...

2009-06-09T13:58:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we took a family vacation to Cincinnati with Brandon's mom and dad and our niece and nephew, Ashton and Austin. We had a very busy agenda of shopping, water slides and roller coasters.

We began our trip with a stop at the Gap Clearance Store in Hebron, KY. This is a frugal shopper's dream store! Not to be confused with a Gap Outlet, this store is much more and much cheaper! The layout is similar to an overstock store like TJ Maxx - but it is stocked with Gap, Old Navy and Banana Republic from wall to wall. This is where all the defective, out of season merchandise comes to die (e.g. come home with me for bargain prices). Basically, all pants are around $7 and shirts are $3 to $5. There are also shoes, accessories, baby and kids clothes, maternity clothes and other random bargains. You do have to make sure that what you are buying is not stained or torn.

Brandon always finds great polos and work pants (once we got him 10 Gap polos for $10). We totally made out like bandits this time as well, buying close to 40 items for about $150!

Next, was on to the hotel - The Great Wolf Lodge! A hotel with an indoor water park. There were 8 water slides, indoor and outdoor pools, wave pool, hot tubs, lazy river, etc... It was a lot of fun. Sawyer got his first swim lesson from his daddy. He played, splashed, went under water, and even floated a little.

We also spent one day at Kings Island enjoying some exciting roller coasters. I have ridden a lot of rollar coasters and the ones at KI are some of my favorites. In particular a new ride, the Diamondback, was really fun! KI also had this awesome thing called a parent pass, which allowed one parent to stand in line and ride the coaster while the other waited with the child. When the riding parent gets off they get the pass signed and return to watch the kid while the other parent enters through the exit of the ride and gets right on! This worked so well - because obviously Sawyer was not going to be content in lines all day long.

Fortunately for us Sawyer is a people watcher and he was pacified most of the day by the activity going on around him. KI is also located right next door to the Great Wolf, so we walked back in the afternoon for a good long nap.

We definitely had a great trip and enjoyed the time with family. Sawyer's second family vacation will be soon as I think we will be taking a trip to North Dakota soon to visit Uncle Jeremy and Aunt Pam.

Here are some photos from our trip:

sawyer got a swing...

2009-05-31T07:48:00.001-07:00

We bought Sawyer a swing that hangs from a tree branch in our yard and he loves it! It inspired some great giggles and smiles. Here is a very wobbly video and a couple photos.

Also a few photos from last weekend at Brandon's grandparents' home.

(If you know how to rotate a video please let me know!)

baby dedication, what does it mean...

2009-05-21T14:03:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago our church, Sojourn Community Church, held a (baby) Dedication in which we participated. Here is what teaching pastor, Daniel Montgomery wrote about this service:

Our service is simply called a Dedication. Some churches think about it as a baby dedication, but it is better called a Parent Dedication. This is not a water baptism, but it is a heavy thing-serious business for the parents involved. The dedication is a covenant-a holy commitment made between the parents, God, and our church community. It is serious business for our church as well. We don’t believe that God made children the responsibility of the nuclear family in isolation. Church and home are co-champions of God’s ways for our kids. Every member of Sojourn is responsible for these kids. We need each other. These parents need our encouragement, accountability, and our prayers. These kids need our love, nurture, and our gospel examples.

Because we had family and friends in attendance and had to gather a baby and all his things with us while making lunch plans, etc, I don't think that I have taken the appropriate time to understand the commitment I made that day.

That day I made a covenant that was no different that my wedding vows. I stood before the Lord, my church, my family and friends and placed the life of my son in the hands of God. I made a contract with God in which I promised to guide Sawyer in the ways of the Lord and be an example to him.

We have an exciting and terrifying journey ahead of us in raising this little man that can only be successful with the help of the Lord.

We were asked to select a verse as a part of the program for the service. This is what we selected. For me it is an assurance of God's commitment to me when he blessed me with Sawyer and is also my prayer for my son in his walk with the Lord.

Look at the nations and watch— and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told. - Habakkuk 1:5

Here is the program from the baby dedication, Sawyer is on page 18. Click here.

Prayer for our Children
Bestow, dear Lord, upon our young,
The gift of saving grace;
And let the seed of sacred truth
Fall in a fruitful place.

Grace is a plant, wherever it grows,
Of pure and heavenly root;
But fairest in the youngest shows,
And yields the sweetest fruit.

You careless ones, oh hear betimes
The voice of sovereign love;
Your youth is stained with many crimes,
But mercy reigns above.

True, you are the young, but there’s a stone
Within the youngest breast,
Or half the crimes which you have done,
Would rob you of your rest.

For you our public prayer is made,
Oh, join our public prayer!
For you the sacred tear is shed,
Oh, shed yourselves a tear!

We pray that you may early prove
The Spirit’s power to teach;
You cannot be too young to love
That Jesus whom we preach.

Adapted from John Newton’s “Prayer for Youth”

baby food...

2009-05-19T13:41:00.000-07:00

I wrote previously about my new mission to save my family money through using coupons and drugstore reward programs. I am getting pretty good at it - I usually save 40% each week - and, along with some pretty good grocery deals, I am also saving on diapers - usually $.05 to $.11 per diaper, as opposed to $.16 that I was paying.

Anyway, another way that I am saving money (and providing healthy meals for my baby boy) is making Sawyer's baby food. For Christmas Sawyer asked for a baby food maker and this thing is fabulous!

Starting Sawyer out right nutritionally is so important to me! I want him to be healthy, love all foods, and enjoy natural (not processed) food. This has meant several things for me - I have done everything possible to continue nursing him as long as possible and am excited to say that at 8 months he is still getting exclusively breast milk. I have been very lucky that we both took to it so well. But I will say that nursing is one of the most challenging things I have ever done.

Back to the baby food...

I had anticipated throughout my pregnancy that I might make my own baby food. This was confirmed at one of my baby showers when we played a game where you had to taste and label baby food. There were 10 jars and I only got 1 right! If the food does not taste like it is supposed to then how is Sawyer going to learn to like it?

So I was convinced. Shortly after I saw the Baby Cook - and knew that I had to have it to help my baby food making dreams come true. This machine cooks, purees, thaws, etc... It rocks!

Sawyer has been eating solid foods for about 3 months now and it is going great. He has a preference for orange colored foods like sweet potatoes, butternut squash and carrots. He loves fruit and does not like avacado or white potatoes.

Because he still has no teeth, we are still sticking with mostly purees. For example this week has enjoyed apples, squash, carrots with celery, spinach with mango and pear, chicken with vegetables, and yogurt.

We are still looking for other mixtures to try, so if anyone has any good ideas let me know.

Here is Sawyer enjoying some "big boy" food:

Yummy!

Frozen bagels are great for sore gums!

month 7: no computer, even less posting...

2009-04-29T13:28:00.001-07:00

So since my laptop was stolen in our burglary, I have to use our desktop computer to update my blog. I realize that I wasn't doing it very often to begin with, but being unable to update while playing in the floor with Sawyer means I have to wait until nap time. Unfortunately, I also have to wait until naptime to do laundry, clean, cook, garden, work on freelance projects or catch a nap.

So my poor blog is suffering, as I am sure my many readers eagerly anticipate my next post. :)

In addition to the laptop being stolen, my new camera is broken, meaning less pictures of my precious little man in his 7 month, though I have managed to get a few with my old camera. (Amusing side note - can now not take pictures with this camera because our rechargeable batteries and chargers were also stolen in the burglary!).

The above feels like a reflection of what my life has been like lately.

As for Sawyer - he is getting so big. In the past month we have battled our first illness (croup, ear infection and thrush all at once), he has learned to sit up on his own, army crawl, and is now standing up and trying to let go. He is certainly a brave little guy! He is going to have his share of bumps because of that - yesterday he fell on a toy as he was trying to stand and has a small bruise on his face.

He is now standing up in his crib every time he is in it, including if he wakes up in the middle of the night! What is funny about this is he can stand up, but has no idea how to get back down. He usually ends up falling and then gets very upset with himself.

Sawyer enjoyed his first Easter at home, because poor Brandon was too sick for us to go anywhere. We had baby dedication at church and enjoyed wonderful family and friends joining us for that (more about this later). Sawyer also had his first mini-vacation to Pigeon Forge for the McGrew's biannual reunion. He had a great time being spoiled!

It is so amazing to watch him grow and learn - he now shows preferences for certain toys and foods, he plays with his toys in a more intentional way, he reaches for you when he wants to be held and he smiles at just the right moment. I adore him!

Here are some pictures from the past few weeks:

my little guys is six months old, wow...

2009-03-21T18:44:00.000-07:00

So I typed this post a couple weeks ago, thinking that I would add some photos to it, but here it is anyway...

I cannot believe that my precious little man is 6 months old, a half a year. It is really mind blowing.

The past 6 months have been the most challenging and rewarding time of my entire life. Being a mom is exhausting and sometimes frustrating, but he is the most beautiful, funny and perfect little boy in the whole world.

It is such a miracle to watch him as he learns and explores his world. Just a few months ago he moved very little and his main way to communicate was to cry. Now all of the sudden he is everywhere and jabbering at us constantly. He has been rolling over for weeks and now he acts like he might crawl any day.

He is vocalizing to us through coos and shrieks. He smiles at people that he knows or when something strikes him as amusing. He is playing with toys now and shows preference for certain toys over others. He loves barley cereal and bananas. He likes to watch Moses and has been trying to reach for him; Brandon and I have decided that getting to Moses is going to be what motivates him to crawl.

We often have people say, "he was so good today". Or sometimes we say that ourselves, but the truth is he is really a great baby. He is happy almost all the time - he even wakes up happy, not by crying but cooing and talking. He really only fusses when he is tired or hungry.

As I watch his personality become stronger, I definitely think that he is going to be a little ham. For example, tonight as I fed him his dinner he made a funny face which I laughed at - he liked that I laughed so he continued to make that face with each of the next few bites to get a few more giggles from mom.

While part of me is saddened to think that the first 6 months of his life past so quickly, I am so excited to for the upcoming milestones. I am so blessed to be able to watch first hand as this little guy grows and develops into the amazing little boy God created him to be.

life happens...

2009-03-18T12:09:00.000-07:00

So the past week has been physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausting.

Last Wednesday my house was robbed. I got home from the grocery at around 3PM to my front door standing open. My first thought was of course that either Brandon left it open or maybe the wind. I called Brandon as I walked toward the door - and he said no he had not been near the door. I told him to come home immediately and got back in my car.

Then I began to worry about the dog, so I started to get back out of the car when I noticed that my back gate was also open. This is when I knew someone had been in my house. I called Brandon back - freaking out - and then I called the police. They told me to get out of the driveway and park where I could see the house in case someone came out. Looking back now I think that I might have ran someone over if I saw them come out of my house!

The police came, searched the house and then we went inside to see that our house was a mess. Mostly electronics and jewelry were stolen, but lots of stuff was on the floor. They had busted the back door down, stole my stuff and then unlocked my front door and walked out with it. In my mind that took a lot of nerve considering we live on a busy street. They even stole 2 of my pillow cases to take my stuff away in.

It has not been the loss of stuff that has bothered me as much as the fact that someone was in my house. They were in my underwear drawer and my baby's room. They walked by my wedding photos and knocked over pictures of my baby as they stole my belongings. I don't understand how people do that to other human beings.

I did find it interesting how different Brandon and I are when dealing with situations like this. For instance, at one point Brandon updated his facebook status to say "my house was broken in to, pleas pray for us" while I updated mine later that night to say "my house was broken in to and I am REALLY pissed off about it". (we won't go in to how we are obviously too addicted to facebook).

Also, that night Brandon wanted to stay somewhere else so that he would feel the baby and I were safe - I wanted to stay in my home as a statement that no one was going to make me feel scared in my own home. I was angry right away and it took Brandon a couple days. It is probably best that way - who knows what would have happened had we both gotten mad together!

Unfortunately the rest of the week didn't get much better - I got the stomach flu the night of the break-in and got very ill. Friday, we found out my grandfather had to have open heart surgery. Sunday, I got a plugged milk duct (painful and fever inducing!). Monday, I woke up with an allergic reaction to a facial lotion I hadn't used in a while and my grandfather had triple bypass that afteroon.

Life happens...

Things are better now, stomach flu, plugged duct, and allergic reaction are gone. Insurance is handling our things. And best of all my grandfather is doing really great after his surgery. The Lord is guarding over my family and He is in control.

In spite of how hard my week was for me last week I know that there are always those who are having a harder time than me. Last Monday a dear friend of mine recieved word that her father had died in a tragic accident. She is 40 weeks pregnant. A couple in our community group at church had a baby 4 weeks ago who was premature and after struggling for several weeks with feeding and breathing difficulties this tiny little guy had to have a feeding tube inserted last week. These are brave friends of mine - and there situations have helped me keep things in perspective.

What is truly is that there are stll blessings to be seen even with them. My dear friend who lost her father is going to have a beautiful baby girl this week - the greatest miracle in life. And the couple from our community group found out that they get to bring their baby home from the hospital for the first time this week - an amazing answered prayer.

I pray that the Lord will help me to understand that my blessings and His provision out weigh the battles that I am fighting. I have more than I ever deserve including His grace.

my consignment sale finds...

2009-03-06T10:32:00.000-08:00

I posted not too long ago about recent and upcoming consignment sales in Louisville. Thought I would share some of my great finds:

Kids Stuff Sale

This sale was not that great to be honest. It was held in poorly lit, dirty and cold building, the selection was not fabulous, and their standards for accepting clothing were clearly not that great.

Despite that I managed to find a few things:

hiking backpack - $35 (selling for $75 and up on internet)
2 outfits
2 divided bowls
set of wooden blocks

Total Spent: $46

Little Treasures Sale

Once again this sell more than impressed me! I signed up to work a shift, so I got to go to the worker's sale on Tuesday night. I arrived at 4:25, sale did not open until 5, and was still at least 50th in line.

After an hour and a half of shopping this is what I walked away with:

Fisher Price high chair
Costco Alpha Omega Car Seat
Mickey Mouse ride on/walk behind toy
Cart and restaurant high chair cover
5 infant books
Thomas sound book
8 outfits/rompers/sleepers
10 onesies
2 pairs of pants
1 sleep sack
1 swim trunk with swim shirt
1 shirt
2 shorts
40 pairs of socks
4 sets of pajamas
2 pairs of shoes
pkg of little swimmer diapers
baby einstein video

babyproofing:
tub faucet cover
toilet lock
2 door knob covers
3 packages of cabinet locks
2 blind cord winders
over 75 outlet covers

Total Spent: $132.00

I know that is amazing, huh? Who said that having a baby has to be expensive?! The sale runs through Sunday (half price day, I might go back) so check it out if you can!

Senate Bill 68, my opinion...

2009-03-06T06:35:00.000-08:00

First, read this article...

http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20090306/NEWS0101/903060429/1008/NEWS01

Ok, I know that I have stated before that I don't often comment on political issues because my opinion often differs from that of my peers. Well I think is the case in this situation also, but I am going to express my opinion anyway.

This is definitely a heated and controversial issue and it is an issue for me that really gets me upset.

Armed with the knowledge that I love Jesus, most people would make assumptions about where I stand on this bill, I can promise you that your assumptions would be wrong.

While I am conservative in my beliefs, I also believe that many Christians and top Christians leaders (not afraid to name names: James Dobson, Al Mohler, Pat Robertson, Paige Patterson, etc...) are too involved in political matters and trying to legislate morality and their beliefs on the country. This is not the way Jesus carried out his ministry and not how I believe we should carry out ours.

In regards to my religion and politics, my main concern (I said main, not only) is that my right to belief what I choose and practice my beliefs freely is protected.

It is also my belief that as the church if we used the resources (time and money) that we spend on promoting and lobbying for bills regarding abortion, homosexuality, etc... on loving ALL those around us and supporting ministries that care for others then we would have a greater effect in reaching the world for Jesus.

Here is my problem with this bill - we are not thinking about the children!

First of all, supporters of this bill it can be assumed are likely to also be opponents of abortion. I do not support abortion, but would like to see women make alternative choices regarding their children, one of the main options would be adoption. By limiting the people who can legally adopt aren't we making it harder for women to make that choice!

What is even more confusing and upsetting about this bill to me is that this bill allows single people to adopt or become foster parents as long as they don't live with a sexual partner. Huh?

It is about considering the alternatives - would you rather see a child aborted or spend their life in and out of foster care and children's homes - or - would you rather that child be raised by either an unwed or homosexual couple who would shower that child with love and the opportunity to succeed??? For me the answer is clear.

Just think of it from a child's perspective - Brandon worked in a children's home with children who had been abandoned and abused and neglected by horrible parents. These kids did not recieve the love, individual attention and opportunity for success that all children deserve.

I will be contacting my state legislators to let them know that I do not support Senate Bill 68 and if they would like to receive my vote in the future, then they will vote against it.

Please note that I welcome hearing your opinion on this issue, but be nice and think before you speak/type! :)

upcoming consignment sales in Louisville

2009-02-25T13:03:00.000-08:00

FYI - having a kid is expensive!

To help me combat this there are some really great children's consignment sales in Louisville beginning this weekend...

Kid's Stuff Sale
Feb 27 - Mar 1 at Middletown Midtown Center
March 27-29 at Basketball Academy in Eastpoint Business Park

Little Treasures Sale
March 5-8 at Hoops on Blakenbaker

KY Kids Consignment Sale
March 13-14 at Jeffersontown Community Center

I have personally been to the Little Treasures Sale and will be working at it this year. Wow there is so much stuff! I already have a list of things I am looking for. In the summer I purchased Gap, Gymboree, etc clothing that was like new!

Most of these sales have pre sale days for those who are willing to work a shift setting up. If you have stuff to consign these are a great way to git rid of that stuff! Several sales also have special times for new/expecting moms.

I love a good deal! I am excited already!

it is almost a high...

2009-02-17T13:56:00.000-08:00

So like I said in a previous post, because I am now only working part time now I consider it my job to save my family as much money as possible on living expenses such as groceries, eating out, bills, etc...

So I have spent weeks reading blogs written by women who are very dedicated to saving money for their families through couponing, "CVS"ing, thrift shopping, etc... Some of my favorites include:

Southern Savers
Money Saving Mom
The Centsible Sawyer
Finding Deals in the Ville

These link to many other great sites as well and include information on how to get started couponing and shopping at CVS and other drug stores.

Like I said, I have been reading these websites for weeks and collecting my coupons. Last week I ventured out for the first time with my new knowledge and a handful of coupons. I was very excited when I looked at my Kroger receipt and saw that I had saved 37%!

This motivated me even more for this week, so after reviewing the sales ad, loading coupons on my Kroger Plus card (go to cellfire.com, shortcuts.com, and pgesaver.com to find out more about this) I grabbed my coupons and off Sawyer and I went. It was very exciting to me as I watched the cashier ring up coupon after coupon - and I could have did a dance when I looked at the receipt and saw that I had saved over 47% on my groceries this week!

I know it sounds absurd, but I feel like I have been on a high from this since I got home from the grocery over 2 hours ago.

A few highlights from my trip:
$.26 overage on Cottonelle toilet paper (they paid me to get toilet paper)
Free sour cream with a coupon I got in mail
48 pack of Kroger brand diapers for $2.99
Bread for $1 a loaf (regularly $2.50)
and these are just a few!

Doing that well actually makes me look forward to the challenge of buying groceries again next week! Hopefully I can keep this up because it feels great to serve my family in this way!

rolling...

2009-02-05T15:19:00.001-08:00

This has been a crazy couple weeks with the ice storm that pretty much shut us down for all of last week. We luckily didn't lose power, but a lot of people we know did. Sawyer was home with either myself or Brandon (mostly Brandon because his work was closed) all of last week. It was great to get to spend that time together. We will certainly have a lot to tell Sawyer about the weather his first few months of life - he was born on hurricane day. For those of you who don't know - Hurricane Ike came up from the coast and caused a major wind storm on the day Sawyer was born. Hundreds of thousands without power, pure chaos. I missed it all because I had my own little hurricane going on that day with the birth of the baby.

A few recent photos below along with a video of Sawyer rolling over. He rolled from his back to his belly last week and has been unstoppable ever since - we can't take our eyes off him!

Sawyer figured out he had feet this week :)

Daddy reading a bedtime story

Love my exersaucer!!!

Sawyer got a Bumpo for Christmas - here he is trying to escape it!

update on life...

2009-01-13T13:22:00.000-08:00

Lots going on recently, I feel like I have been going non-stop since the holidays. We had a wonderful first Christmas with our little Christmas present. In addition to traveling, our families joined us in our home for the first time at the holidays, which Brandon and I really enjoyed. The week after Christmas I enjoyed a week home with Brandon and Sawyer before Brandon and I both had to return to work in the new year.

Like I discussed in my previous post - I decided in November that I would go back to work part time beginning on January 5th. The week after Christmas Brandon and I met with a wonderful lady who is now keeping Sawyer while I work. She is a former nurse and a mother/grandmother who has been keeping kids for about 15 years. We were very blessed to have found her! God has definitely orchestrated our steps in making this decision!

I have gotten many questions about how it was to return to work after my maternity leave and the answer is mixed. Anyone who has ever stayed at home with a child or alone can probably tell you that it can be a very lonely time. While I cherish every single second I spend with Sawyer - there is not a lot of adult conversation with a 4 month old (I talk a lot!). In addition, I really do enjoy my job! I have a mentally challenging job in a department with people I consider friends at a company that respects and values their employees.

That being said it was very hard to return to work even part time. Just as I think most women do - I feel guilty for leaving Sawyer in someone else's care, however capable they are. It also hurts to think that I am missing something. Sawyer's happiest time of the day is the morning. He talks, coos, smiles and plays, so it is sad to be away from him during that time.

There have been several things to help ease the transition. First was finding a loving person to care for him. Another thing that makes it easier for me is that Brandon is the one that drops Sawyer off in the morning, so as a result I never actually have to leave him. This was especially helpful the first day. Work has also been very busy during the time I am there - 1400 emails and a desk covered in stuff occupied my first week!

I know that I have made the right decisions for my family at this current time. That is comforting. I am enjoying the mental stimulation that work is providing me. In addition, I think it is good for Sawyer to get used to interacting with other people - he was/is a little mommy spoiled! There is also a 4 year old little boy for him to interact with and the babysitter says that Sawyer loves to watch him play.

The first couple weeks of the new year have been full of emotions, but overall 2009 has started out great!

Family photos

2008-12-22T15:05:00.000-08:00

I have a wonderful and talented friend who recently took some photos of Sawyer and our family. I can't believe how much he has has grown - he was three months on Dec 14 and now weighs 14 lbs. He is a complete joy. It is amazing to watch as he learns about the world around him. Recently he has learned to grab and explore things with his hands, most things go in his mouth. He has also begun laughing out loud at certain things and I do believe that is the best sound in God's creation.

Enjoy the photos!

good intentions...

2008-12-22T14:32:00.000-08:00

So my ambitious intentions to return to the world of blogging obviously hit somewhat of a snag in the past 6 weeks - if you refer to a previous post regarding my son's lack of napping you may understand why. I will say that I do have great ideas and a lot to say - I often spend my middle of the night feeding sessions thinking of all the great things I could post about.

The problem with that now - as I sit with an actual few minutes available to write something - I can't really recall any of those fabulous ideas. Hopefully they weren't inspirational masterpieces...

Anyway, because of my lack of a brilliant plan, I figured I would just make this post a little bit of random information regarding what it is going on right now.

First of all, I got big news in the past few weeks regarding work. I had planned throughout my pregnancy and most of my maternity leave to return to work full time 12 weeks after Sawyer was born. This had been a thought that had upset me for some time because I wasn't entirely sure this is what I wanted to do. I knew I would like to work some, but wasn't sure that I was ready for full time with Sawyer being so young.

Brandon and I had discussed it for months and while he expressed his opinions about the matter, Brandon made clear to me that the decision was ultimately going to be mine. After Sawyer was born my plan was to go back to work after the 12 weeks and if I decided that wasn't right then another decision could be made. However, as the date drew closer for me to go back I began to get nauseous at the very thought. It finally became clear to me that whether I went back to wirk for a day or weeks, it wasn't going to change the fact that I did not want to go back full time right now.

At this point, after MUCH prayer, I took a step of faith and decided to talk to my boss about the possibility of coming back part time. My boss is an amazingly understanding woman and the parent of a 4 year old with another on the way, so I was hoping that the conversation would go well. I wasn't expecting for it to go as well as it did. She had already anticipated my request and had gotten permission from HR before even coming to meet with me! Praise God!

This did leave Brandon and I with a child care problem - the place that we were going to take Sawyer does not do part time child care. This was a trial for us for a few weeks - however we currently have 2 options that we have to choose from in the next week, both of which I feel comfortable with. My wonderful boss/company were so understandable about my child care problem that I was able to take an additional 4 weeks off and not go back until after the holidays. Praise God again!

I have also been spending a great deal of my time since deciding to work part time to learning how to save my family money on our bills, groceries, etc... I consider this to be my other part time job - to manage our money as well as possible. There are so many sites dedicated to this that it is overwhelming! There are some very inspirational women who spend hours a week pouring over grocery ads, coupons, websites, etc in order to save 50% or more on their grocery bills. I will be researching this more in the coming weeks to figure out how they do it and update you (no promises) on my progress.

it's my birthday...

2008-11-05T16:55:00.000-08:00

I have decided to refrain from posting about the election, though I am full of thoughts on the election, its outcomes and the reactions of those around me. I will point out that I am a little disappointed in the outlook of many Christians, not only on the election, but politics in general. I do hope that those who spend so much time reading, talking and arguing over politics spend a lot more time reading, talking and arguing over Jesus Christ and also reading the Bible to find Jesus' perspective on government and politics - which I think that you would find to be quite different than what most believe.

Well, I said that I was not going to talk about politics, oops, that is all, for now...

This post is actually about my birthday - I turn 27 today. While I do enjoy the celebrations around my birthday and the time with family and friends, I do not enjoy getting older. I am going to be one of those people who freak out about birthdays. Every year it gets worse. At 25 I freaked out because it meant that I was now closer to the age of 30 than 20. Last year at 26, I was a little freaked because I felt I should be at a better place in my life at age 26. This year is no different -- I am now closer to age 30 than 25! Wow.

I am not sure why growing older freaks me out so much. Aging means more responsibility I guess, but that does not necessarily upset me. This is something for me t o think about, why do I hate to get older so much? Does this scare others as much as me?

However, this year I do have a bit of a different perspective on my birthday. After having a baby myself this day has a whole new meaning to me. If I was born on this day 27 years ago that means that my mother was in labor with me 27 years ago at this time. Having so recently gone through this experience - I can understand what this day must mean to my mom. She gave birth to her first baby 27 years ago today - her life changed forever - she got a whole new perspective on life and love - 27 years ago today.

So today I will enjoy the many loving expressions that I get from family and friends - but I think that I will mostly be thinking of my mom. After being in labor for 40 hours (see earlier post for more) I am thinking that maybe I should get presents on Sawyer's birthday!

Thanks mom for bringing me into this world 27 years ago today - even if it means that I have to have 27 candles on my cake.

he needs a nap and so do I!

2008-10-20T12:53:00.000-07:00

My last post took me like three weeks to complete, because it was long and detailed, but also because I could only work on it during nap times.

The problem with that is that Sawyer has been refusing to nap. For the past few weeks, he has been fighting sleep and refusing to stay asleep, especially during the day. He will fall asleep while he is eating and I will rock him for a few minutes - then when I put him down in his crib or bouncer he wakes up either immediately or after several minutes.

There was one day last week when he only slept 45 minutes from 10AM to 8PM! A baby is supposed to sleep on average 14 - 18 hours a day and he was sleeping about 8. This lead to me having a very tired, very fussy baby. When a baby get this overtired it makes it even harder to get them to sleep. This all lead to me also being very exhausted, frustrated and feeling a little bad about my mothering skills.

It also made me annoyed because people kept saying to me, "You need to sleep when the baby sleeps." Well, I was, but he wasn't sleeping much. You also don't realize that just because the baby sleeps a certain amount of time doesn't mean you will. I may begin feeding him at 9PM - he may fall asleep while eating, which I have to try to wake him up from to finish, then change his diaper. Then you have to rock him to make sure he is in a deep sleep, which may take 15 to 20 more minutes. Then I have to get myself ready to sleep, etc... By this time he may have already been sleeping for 30 to 45 minutes. This repeats at every feeding throughout the night. Not to mention I am a new mom who wakes up at his every move.

Another problem we were having with Sawyer's sleeping that he would not stay asleep if you did not rock him until he was in a very deep sleep. If you put him down before he would reach this state, then he would either wake up right away or flail his arms and legs until he woke him self up. In fact, that is almost always how he would wake himself up, by flailing.

In addition, he had suddenly become a very light sleeper who would wake up at the slightest sound - like me hitting enter on the keyboard when typing a blog post.

What is odd about the sleep problem is that he sleeps very well in his car seat - he is asleep almost the whole time we are out anywhere - including a trip to Red Robin (the loudest restaurant on earth) where 3 balloons popped over his head and he kept sleeping! Also, he will sleep if he is in his baby sling attached to me. This includes a long nap that he took as I vacuumed the house with him bouncing around in the sling.

However, this past Sunday afternoon we discovered how to help our little guy get the rest he needs! My parents were here and Sawyer was very fussy because he had napped very little that day. We had him laying on a blanket on the floor, on his back, and he was fussing. We then flipped him over onto his tummy and within a minute he was asleep. Not only did he sleep, but he slept for almost 3 hours while we all stayed in the room talking with the tv on and the dog running around! This was amazing!

Those of you who are parents, or who have read anything about babies recently may see the problem in this solution though - you are not supposed to lay a baby on their tummy to sleep. Research shows that you increase the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) when a baby sleeps on his tummy.

But we also found an amazing solution that not only eased our minds but also allows us and Sawyer to sleep! It is the Angelcare Monitor. It is a motion/sound monitor. There is a small pad that you place under the baby's mattress and the sensor detects the baby's movements, including breathing. So if at any point there is no movement for more than 20 seconds then an alarm will sound.

This miracle device has allowed me to rest easier because I know that he is breathing - but more importantly it has allowed Sawyer to sleep peacefully on his tummy, so much so that he is now sleeping for 4 to 6 hour stints! whoo- hoo!

my labor story...

2008-10-07T12:38:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, Brandon and I had a follow-up meeting with our Doula, Dori, where she brought us video, pictures and our birth story from her perspective. For those who don't know, a doula is basically a woman who is a professional labor coach. She is there to help the laboring woman in all ways - such as positioning, getting drinks/food, answering questions, massage, comfort, etc... Dori was also our teacher for our Bradley Childbirth classes and without her our labor would have gone a lot differently.

Anyway, that brings me to this post. Dori placed her version of Sawyer's birth story in a folder and told us that Brandon and I should both add our versions of the birth to the folder. Below is my version of the birth and what I want Sawyer to know about the day he was born.

Sawyer,

Your dad and I found out that we were going to be parents just a few days in to the new year, and we were both incredibly excited and nervous at the same time. Of course, things quickly got even more exciting as we got to hear your heartbeat, see you on the ultrasound, and then feel you move. As you got bigger, so did your kicks and movements and by the end we would see my whole belly shift around as you tried to get comfortable in an increasingly smaller space.

I had never really discussed it with anyone, but had always thought that I might be interested in having a natural childbirth - meaning no drugs, medical interferences, etc... I shared this idea with your Daddy early in the pregnancy and we began to due a little research. What we discovered was that natural childbirth was healthier for both mother and child, promotes bonding, decreases the chances for a c-section, etc... In addition it also meant that I would get to avoid needles, which I detest. After discussing it, we decided that we wanted to have you as naturally as possible.

In order to ensure success, we made two decisions. One was to take a 12 week class called the Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth, which taught us everything there is to know about labor and in addition taught me how to relax through labor using various positions and breathing. The classes also taught your Dad how to coach me through contractions, assist with positions, set the appropriate atmosphere and be my teammate through the whole process.

Our second decision was to hire a Doula, Dori, who also happened to be the person teaching our childbirth classes. A doula is basically an additional labor coach who is there to assist the mother with positions, comfort, advice, etc... and basically help in any way needed.

These decisions turned out to be great for us. In our childbirth classes we learned so much and left feeling prepared and knowledable about birth. We also got to meet some other great expectant couples who were making the same decisions we were. As a result of our decisions, we also made another decision - to switch from our doctor to a midwife, Beth Bary, who was experienced and supportive of natural childbirth.

As you grew our anticipation to see you did also. Actually we thought we would see you much sooner than we did. Your Nana (my mom) had me three weeks early and your Uncle Jeremy over a week early, so your Daddy and I decided we should be ready for your arrival at least three weeks early. It did not help that everyone else was also saying to me that you were for sure going to come early!

Well as it drew closer to your due date I was more and more eager. Your Daddy and I walked a lot and I would have contractions when we were walking which I was sure was a sign your were on the way.

A week before your due date (Sept 4) I went to the doctor and to our surprise I wasn't dilated at all! We were a little disappointed, knew that you would come when you were ready. That following Sunday was the first time that I began to have consistent contractions - they were about 8 minutes apart for several hours. This continued on for the next few days - contractions would come on and off and stop and start.

Daddy and I tried to continue on with life, but tried to help you on your way out by walking and any thing else we could think of to encourage you. On Wednesday, I started having contractions and after this point they never completely stopped again - they might drift to 15 minutes, but they never went away.... This was exciting - my baby boy was coming!

Over the next two days contractions continued to come - sometimes close and sometimes not, but it began to get harder to lead a normal life. Your Daddy stayed home from work with me and we walked and went to the mall, ate to keep up energy, and I did my best to get some sleep through the contractions.

On Friday night (now 1 day past your due date) at around 8PM, contractions kicked it up a notch. They got stronger and began coming at a consistent 7-8 minutes apart. By 2AM they were 3 minutes apart and lasting for a whole minute. I was doing good relaxing through them and your Daddy picked up the phone to ask Dori what we should do. She said, I'll meet you at the hospital!

This is where the fun began! Daddy packed everything up in the car and I waddled out in between contractions and we were on our way - expecting to meet you very soon! When we got to the hospital I began to get a little nervous and this was only compounded by the fact that the labor and delivery area was very busy for 2AM on a Friday night. Sadly, the nurses were very busy attending to a very sick momma and baby.

When the nurse finally came to check to see how we had progressed - we found out we were only 2 cm. This news combined with the busyness around me had slowed the contractions down to 5-7 min. We decided that we would try walking around for a while to see if we could get things to speed back up. After about an hour of walking the halls at the hospital - the contractions were still inconsistent and when the nurse checked I was still 2 cm. We decided to go home - we didn't want to end up being at the hospital for two days!

When we got home the most important thing to do was to make sure I rested, ate and kept hydrated. The resting part was hard because I was still having strong contractions that were coming every 7 minutes. Daddy and Dori did a great job of comforting me and coaching me through them. It was also hard for me to eat because my stomach was a little upset.

Unfortunately things did not progress as quickly as we would have liked. Throughout the day my contractions stayed between 5 and 7 minutes, with the occasional 10-12 minutes. By 5PM, we were a little frustrated. I was tired and so was Daddy and we were all eagerly waiting to see you. At this point, Dori came to the rescue. She had left a little earlier in the day to teach class and rest.

Dori got to our house at about 7PM with food for me and an idea about how to speed up contractions. After eating my baked potato, Dori tied a sheet around my belly to help direct you down into the birth canal and then she had me crawl around on the floor! I know it sounds crazy, but for some reason the crawling really speeded the contractions up!

By 10PM, contractions were 3 minutes apart again and I was feeling a little nausea (a sign of progression in labor) and we decided that it was time to go back to the hospital. We packed up and off we went again! This time the car ride was harder because contractions were closer and stronger and it was harder to relax!

When we arrived at the hospital this time things were much different. We were the only ones there and the nurse were glad to see us because they felt bad about the night before! I was nervous about being checked because it would be very upsetting to not be any further along. We were all waiting eagerly - even the nurses -and I was 8 cm!!! Yea! Everyone cheered and I even cried a little out of relief and excitement. I just knew I was going to see you soon!

For a while things continued on the same course. Your grandparents (both sets) arrived and so did Jeremy and Pam. I got in the birthing tub and labored for a while in the warm water and did my best to relax and prepare to push.

You'll have to forgive me if things get a little mixed up at this point - obviously mom was getting a little tired - maybe Daddy's version of the story will provide better details about times, etc...

After getting out of the tub, several things happened. First we tried a few different positions. Eventually, they came and checked me again and I was 9 1/2 cm! We thought this meant I would feel the urge to push very soon. Also, at this time we decided that Beth should break my water - we thought this would speed things up and encourage you to come out.

Finally, I decided that I should try pushing to see if it was time. We got ready and I began pushing. However, we didn't get far. You were not far enough down into my pelvis, so it was going to do more damage than good for me to try to push. I needed to labor longer.

This is where things get more blurry for me...by this point it had been days since momma had slept more than a few minutes at a time and I was also running on very little food because I hadn't been able to eat. Momma's body basically began to shutdown. At this point the contractions were very strong - coming about 2 minutes apart but lasting a minute and a half to a minute 45 seconds. This meant only 15 to 30 seconds between each contraction to rest.

As my body got weaker so did my ability to relax. When Beth requested I lay down on my side to help labor progress - I was unable to deal with the contractions in this position. The problem with not being able to lay down was I needed to rest.

At this point, things basically fell apart for a while. I don't remember everything about these time, but we had reached a crossroads. My body was stalling at this point in labor and was becoming too weak to continue. Everyone was becoming more concerned and so I consulted Beth, our midwife, as to what the next step should be.

Beth's suggestions were not exactly what I wanted to hear. Our best option at this point was to start pitocin, a drug that would speed up and intensify my contractions in hopes of completing dilation. My first reaction to this suggestion was I cannot handle the contractions being any stronger! Beth realized this and then said that I would need an epidural. She wanted me to be able to get some rest or else not only was I not going to be able to finish laboring but wouldn't be able to push either.

At this point, I looked at your Dad and talked to Dori and the decision was clear. Though I had gone in not wanting any drugs - it had come to a point where these drugs were my option in order to be able to deliver vaginally and not have a c-section. We all agreed that this should be the next step.

Once the decision was made I think my body just completely gave in and I lost all ability to relax. The problem was that they could not give me the epidural until I had a bag of fluids - which takes 45 minutes! They decided that they would give me another drug in the vein to help me with the pain until I could get the epidural. Clearly, I was not having good luck, because after giving me a partial bag of fluids and the drug - Dori realized that my arm was swelling up - the IV had slipped out of the vein and everything was going in to my arm.

Another IV had to be started - but the drug was going to take a while to get in my system, long enought that it didn't take effect until it was almost time for the epidural. The only good thing during this time was that I was pretty out of it from exhastion.

Finally the doctor came with the epidural and Beth held me up while they administered it. After that point all the medicine kicked in and my body was able to rest. For the next three hours (we were almost 35 hours in by the time the epidural was given) I slept while my body continued to contract and work you out.

I awoke slowly to the sound of Dori and your Dad talking. I was feeling a lot of pressure at this point and finally understood what they meant when they said that I would feel the urge to push. I awoke feeling the urge to push - so much that I was unable not to push when contractions came.

Beth came to check me again and she decided that we could try pushing - I think she thought it was going to take a while, but I don't think she knew how much I was ready to see you! So, when the next contraction came I held my breath and gave three long, hard pushes and this continued with every contraction for the next 40 minutes...

I will say I was still a little out of it during some of the pushing, but as I got closer to holding you and could begin to see your head in the mirror they had placed in front of me, my adrenaline sped up! It was so exciting to know I was going to get to hold you soon! Everyone was cheering us on through all the pushing and finally one big push and we got to see your face! Then with one final push, there you were - purple and slippery and beautiful!

Amazing - does not even describe what it was like to hold you for the first time! It was literally unbelievable to hold you after waiting for you and feeling you move for all those months! You were perfect!

Daddy got to cut the cord and we all watched as they cleaned and weighed and measured you. Then everyone left and let mommy and daddy have some time alone with you. We just laughed and cried and looked at you, needless to say we were glad that you had finally come out! Soon after your grandparents and Uncle Jeremy and Aunt Pam got to come in and see you.

Though it 40 weeks and 3 days, and close to 40 hours of labor, it was worth every second to have you here! You should know, however, that I will be reminding you of that 40 hours of labor every now and then - probably every year around Mother's Day! I love you Sawyer James!

Here are a few photos from Sawyer's birth (they are all rated G, don't worry!)

First trip to the hospital on Friday night

After Dori arrived, I was crawling on the floor with a sheet tied around my waist - this was supposed to speed labor and help the baby drop

Sitting on the birthing ball having a contraction - with my great coach there helping me

Holding my baby boy for the first time!

Sawyer James McGrew, born at 10:55am on Sept 14, after almost 40 hours of labor!

the first three weeks...

2008-10-03T10:10:00.000-07:00

There is so much that I want to remember about Sawyer's first few weeks outside my womb and I am afraid that I am going to forget. For instance...

After he finishes eating he usually is in what we have come to refer to as his "milk coma" in which he is a completely limp noodle, totally asleep. In the first few minutes he also makes lots of funny faces. He will smile real big, then the next second he frowns and sticks his lip out like he is pouting. He will also stretch his neck out and and stretch and wrinkle his forehead and get a look on his face like he is the most content baby in the world.

During his active times of the day he coos and looks around at the world. It is amazing to think that he literally knows nothing right now, that he is just a blank canvas waiting to be taught everything there is to know. It is scary to think that is my responsibility.

Sawyer likes his bath time. Brandon and I enjoy this time of the day too. It is something that we do together - and Sawyer seems content, that is until it is over. After his bath he smells so good too!

It is funny to see how Moses interacts with him - smelling and kissing and running in when Sawyer cries.

Breastfeeding - which will soon get a post all by its self - has been another great experience. Watching him while he eats and knowing I am continuing to nourish him outside the womb is both comforting and miraculous! How amazing God is that He allows us to participate in His miracles!

Probably the most rewarding thing about the past few weeks has been watching Brandon be a father. I have always known I was a lucky woman, but, wow, he is amazing! He has been there every step of the way. In labor (another post) he was my strength and encouragement. He has changed diapers, cooked, cleaned, rocked, consoled (the baby and me) and done everything else imaginable! My husband truly is a servant that humbles me. He is a reflection of Jesus in my life and I am so thankful for him!

There is so much more I don't want to forget like the way it feels to hold him or how it soothes us both to have him lay and sleep on my chest. What it was like to see him for the first time - other people's reactions to seeing him for the first time. How beautiful he is and seems to become more so every second...

As you can see I am completely and totally head over heels in love with this little person. I wish that I could stop time and just cherish these moments a little more because he is already growing so fast!

Here are a couple short videos of him from this week for you all to enjoy, sorry they are a little dark...

You can also view his photo from the hospital here (under his birth date Sept 14):
http://www.clarkmemorial.org/births.asp

New things in life, thought I would try this again....

2008-09-30T15:57:00.001-07:00

If you read the posts below, you are going to notice that a lot must have happened in my life in the years (yes, years) since I posted anything to this blog... it would take a long time to update in detail, so here is the quick version...

had job at JCC, it was BAD; bought a house; got a new job that i like; got pregnant and had my beautiful son on Sept 14th!

Sawyer, my son, is the reason that I decided I would try to once again give this blog thing a try. First of all I have family and friends who I know would like to see pictures and have an update on him. Second, the past couple weeks have gone by so quickly that I wanted to have some way of writing down what I am thinking and feeling so that I don't forget all the great moments I have with him and Brandon everyday. Third, I thought that later on Sawyer might enjoy knowing what his mom was thinking about...

So, I will do the best I can, even if it is just a few pictures and captions now and then...

Brandon will also be updating his blog and online photo album:
Blog -->http://amindstrainingproject.blogspot.com
Photos -->http://picasaweb.google.com/brandon.mcgrew

Here are a few pics of his first weeks of life:

It is hard work being born, no really, 40 hours of labor wore us both out!

Sawyer was jaundice and had to lie on a "billi" blanket for a couple days we he came home. We called him our little glow-worm.

Brandon was also exhasted at the hospital, but he is a great daddy!

Sawyer's first car ride! As you can see he is very excited...

Moses meet Sawyer! Moses has been very good with the baby, lots of smelling and kisses.

barely breathing

2005-02-13T14:25:00.000-08:00

My blog is categorized as "barely breathing" by Amy. This is quite true. It appears that the best that I can do is once a month. I could say that I am going to work on it, but that would quite possibly be a lie.

Anway, so I have been trying to think about something profound and interesting to write about in the past few minutes and have been unable to think of anything. So, now I am trying to think of something stupid and uninteresting and I am also unsuccessful at that.

I have been watching movies all day, so maybe I will talk about movies. I know this is a subject that Amy finds very interesting, and since she is quite possibly the only person who reads this then this will be for her.

my top ten valentines movies:

dirty dancing
patrick swayze! enough said! but actually I enjoy how baby and johnny help each other discover who they really are. a great coming of age, and of course there is the hot dancing!
best quote:
"I'm gonna do my kind of dancin' with a great partner, who's not only a terrific dancer; somebody who's taught me that there are people willing to stand up for other people no matter what it costs them; somebody who's taught me about the kind of person I wanna be."
when harry met sally
funny! romantic! best friends who don't know they are in love! perfect!
best quote:
"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. "
message in a bottle
So this may be the saddest movie on the list. but its very romantic. he can't forget his first love long enough to see the new love standing in front of him.
best quote:
"Choose between yesterday and tomorrow."
when a man loves a woman
this movie starts out kind of rough, but meg ryan is great. this is more about the enduring power of love and the commitment of real love!
best quote:
"I think I could love you again if you could, for once, say 'I don't know.'"
disney's hercules
so this seems kind of odd to be on my top 10, but i have loved this movie since i first saw it. i love the fact that he loved her so much that he risked his life and gave up being a god for her!
best quote:
"Hercules: Meg, when I'm with you, I don't feel so alone. Meg: Sometimes it's better to be alone. Hercules: What do you mean? Meg: Nobody can hurt you."
titanic
kate winslet is wonderful in this movie. action packed, love packed, inner termoil, money vs. true love! this one has everything. Again the main charcter dies, but we'll overlook it.
best quote:
"Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me... it brought me to you. And I'm thankful for that, Rose. I'm thankful. You must do me this honor, Rose. Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise."
pretty woman
prostitute falls in love with rich, sketchy business man. every little girls dream??
best quote:
"I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing. "
ghost
more death, but more patrck swayze and that pottery scene is hot!
best quote:
"It's amazing, Molly. The love inside, you take it with you. "
love story
moves kind of fast, but its more real life than most. again with the death thing. got have plenty of tissues for this one
best quote:
"Love means never having to say you're sorry. "
moulin rouge
the music is great, but so is the story. love conquering all. not at all realistic, except maybe the overall themes. oh, and she does die too. this one has a special place in my heart!
best quote:
"Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. And then, one not-so-very special day, I went to my typewriter, I sat down, and I wrote our story. A story about a time, a story about a place, a story about the people. But above all things, a story about love. A love that will live forever. "

These are not in any particular order, but they are all wonderful love stories in my opinion. Everyone may not agree. I mean in at least 5 of these movies one of the main characters die. So it may be depressing, but real. I mean love isn't all the flowers and ooey goey stuff its made out to be at times. It hurts, so I like a movie that shows that along with the ooey gooey!

So anyway, there they are. My top 10. What are yours?