Recently, the Duggar Family, 19 Kids and Counting, announced that they were expecting their 20th child. Wow, what an announcement. Apparently, this caused quite a media uproar - even almost shutting down an NBC site because of the comments on the story.
The majority of the responses were negative. People seem to have problems with the number of children, their beliefs, the health of the mother, the quality of life for the kids, etc...
For some reason this has struck a passionate chord within me and I am kind of annoyed and appalled even at these responses for several reasons.
It is interesting that in a country that is obsessed with personal freedoms and the right to pursue any lifestyle that we choose, that there is such a passionate response to this family.
Why the passionate response?
My take on this is there are two major reasons, jealousy/envy and lack of knowledge/understanding. Most people don't, and don't take time to understand their family, their believes, etc. On the flip side, I think that some people see a family with so many kids that are well adjusted, well behaved, and contributing in valuable ways to this world and feel a sense of jealousy. Parenting is hard, raising really great kids is hard and they seem to be flourishing at it, this is obviously going to lead to envy. Even I envy their family in that way.
When I say I am appalled by negative responses, I am speaking mainly of the negative responses that I see from many Christians in regards to the Duggars. The Duggars are a very conservative Baptist family and I personally do not agree with some of the extremes they go to in regards to issues like dress, dancing, dating, etc. However, they make decisions for their family through seeking the Lord and His Will. I am not sure how a Christian can find fault in that.
The Duggars recognize and state that they know their decisions in regards to the number of children is not for everyone. They don't try to push this ideal. In fact, their entire reason for doing their show, knowing the criticism that they are going to receive, is to display their faith and encourage people to enjoy their families. They are putting themselves out in to the world and setting them selves apart for Christ, this is beautiful and ultimately Biblical!
I have heard other criticisms regarding their kids quality of life, the amount of attention children get, and the idea that the older children suffer because they have to raise the younger kids. At one point, I agreed that these were problems, but the more I have learned about them I know this is wrong.
First of all, in America we have this idea that our children need to be doted on and given our every bit of attention at all times. The result of this? Spoiled children who think that the world revolves around them.
The Duggar children are given chores, responsibilities, etc from a very early age. They are taught that they have a part of a community and that their are needs beyond their own. They grow up as responsible, caring, empathetic and contributing members of society. This should be the goal of all parents.
The Duggar children are powerfully knowledgeable about the Bible, well-educated, well-spoken, and caring. They seek to raise children who improve and contribute the world. Their kids are hard working and entrepreneurial - two of them own their own businesses. The Duggars live completely debt free.
Like I said, this has struck a passionate chord in me. Maybe because I am pregnant with my 3rd baby in 3 years. Because though we are far from 20, we have received judgment and criticism about this decision. American standards tell us that 2 kids, especially a boy and a girl, is acceptable but more is kind of pushing it. I am not sure where this comes from as most of my parent's generation and older were raised this way. Maybe it is about resources or attention.
I hope that I can learn to make decisions for my family with same degree of regard to the Lord as the Duggars do. Their are no plans for 20 kids. But in so many areas I lack that surrender to the Lord's plans and will. And for that reason I admire the Duggars and am thankful for their willingness to share their lives.
2 comments:
I love the Duggars. And I always find the "they cant take care of that many kids so they are neglecting them" or the "the older ones have to raise their kids" arguments interesting bc they are like the best, most family oriented kids I have ever seen.
Maybe they are getting something right that the rest of our society who have one kid so they can "give him/her enough attention"are getting wrong... just sayin.
I cant, however, imagine being pregnant that many times with that many kids running around! And she never seems tired or sick- she doesnt let it show. Crazy.
And I really enjoy their first book.
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